


Answers You Seek

by Zeiis



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: (Paladins never switched Lions), (or more accurately Galra/Altean/Human Keith), Acxa has difficultly expressing certain emotions, Acxa is Keith's mom, Acxa is treated as a main character, Acxa loves her son very much, Aftermath of Torture, Allura is nice and not racist towards Keith, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Acxa (Voltron), BAMF Keith (Voltron), Blade of Marmora!Acxa, Character Study, Coran is pure and deserves more love than he gets, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Discussion of the Altean Genocide, Do not trust Lotor, Druid Backstory (Voltron), Druid Illusions and Magic, Druid Temples, Druids, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fluff, Ezor (Voltron) is a good friend, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Galra Keith (Voltron), Heavy Angst, Holt Family Reunion (Voltron), Horror Elements, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Insecure Lance (Voltron), Internalized Homophobia, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lotor's Generals (Voltron) - Freeform, M/M, Mind Games, Mutual Pining, Near Death Experiences, Nonconsensual Body Modification, Original Lion Assignments, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Shiro (Voltron), Quintessence, Rating is for: mature themes such as violence and language, Rebel Alliance, Recovery, Reunions, Sass Master Pidge, Self Sacrificing Keith, Self-Acceptance, Self-Hatred, Shiro (Voltron) Angst, Slow Burn, Some OCs because canon doesn't give me enough to work with, Space Pirates, Story begins just after Season 3, Supportive Lance (Voltron), Torture, Worldbuilding, capture/torture/rescue, debate/discussion of ethics, extended backstories, give acxa a redemption arc 2k17, it gets real dark at least once a chapter, keith is NOT in the Blade of Marmora, morally gray characters, the dark!verse canon hints at but never actually delivers on, this whole thing is essentially a massive character study of all the characters, this will be...a journey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-01-03 22:07:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12155757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeiis/pseuds/Zeiis
Summary: “You’re a spy,” Shiro stated.“Yes,” Acxa replied, speaking slowly as if to a child. “Working for the Blade of Marmora, who are your allies.”“I see,” Coran murmured.“Do you have the knife? May we see it?” Shiro inquired.“My badge is...no longer in my possession.”“Where is it then?” Shiro asked, suspicion coating his features.Acxa paused, exhaling deeply. “There is a young man aboard this ship, name of Keith Copernicus Kogane-”“How do you know his full name?” Shiro interrupted.“Because I’m the one who gave it to him.”Acxa reveals herself to be Keith's long lost mother. The truth can hurt-and can also set you free.Alternatively-that fic where Keith gets his family back.





	1. Bittersweet

**Author's Note:**

> Canon time measurements (roughly): tick=second, dobash=minute, varga=hour, quintent=day (20 vargas)
> 
> Paladins are referred to as their starting Lion assignments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings present in this chapter: a brief mention of non consensual body modification.

Keith swung his particle shield up forcefully, blocking the gladiator’s sharp swing. The impact caused him to slide backwards on his feet. The gladiator swung its sword up, charging with ferocious speed. Keith rolled left, whipping around and striking a blow to the robot’s back before throwing his shield up again to block the retaliation he knew was coming. The gladiator flipped around, using its momentum to kick the Red Paladin. Despite successfully blocking the blow, it still threw Keith halfway across the room and made his shield arm throb sluggishly. _Come on_ , Keith thought tiredly before charging, sliding across the mat on his knees and successfully striking another blow to the gladiators back before being thrown across the room yet again.

_Fuck you, Level 6._

Keith heard the sound of the training door sliding open, ignoring it in favor of charging the gladiator. Whomever had entered was quietly watching him. He pushed himself through six more attempts before he completely ate shit, twisting his ankle and landing hard on his face. He groaned, reeling from the force of the fall, barely managing an “End training sequence.”

Muted footsteps trailed closer to him, and Keith felt a hand on his back rubbing gentle circles. He rolled over with a grunt, mild shock running through him when he saw Allura’s face.

“Are you alright?” She asked, calm voice touched with just a hint of concern. Keith gave her a small smile and nodded. Allura slid her arm underneath Keith’s arms and pulled him to his feet.

“Good. I have something very urgent I need to speak to you about.”

* * *

 

Lance was stretched out along the floor of the common room, arms folded underneath his head as he chatted with Pidge and Hunk. Pidge had her eyes glued to her laptop, typing busily but still managing to keep up with the conversation. Hunk lay on one of the couches, listening with an amused look on his face.

“Of course you would think that, _Pidge_ , as you are but a wee child-”

“Excuse you Lance, I’m three years younger than you,” Pidge countered dryly, keeping her eyes glued to the screen.

“Yes you little gremlin, _but_ -”

“No buts, age and experience don’t mean wisdom, you are overruled-”

“Respect your elders!” Lance squawked indignantly. Hunk chuckled.

“My point still stands. With enough amplification, I could sent signals to Earth, which means-”

“You can’t hack the planet! No one is _that_ much of a genius.”

Pidge rolled her eyes. “Not the planet, Lance. But systems on Earth? Absolutely.”

“Netflix would be nice,” Hunk said wistfully. “How much amplification would you need?”

“I’m not sure exactly, but I’ve been meaning to test the Castle's systems anyway. I haven’t been able to get an exact number on how far signals projected from the Castle can travel, but-”

“Oh dude, Coran would totally help you with that if you asked him,” Lance interjected.

“You think so?” Pidge asked.

“Aw yeah. He’s pretty chill with things. Just be honest.”

“Huh.” Pidge scratched her head. “I’ll-”

“Paladins, please report to the control room as soon as possible. Armor is not required. Repeat, control room as soon as possible.” Allura’s firm voice cut through the air. Lance stood up and stretched, brushing himself off.

“C’mon my dudes, let’s not keep the Princess waiting,” Lance said. Pidge pushed her laptop to the side and all three paladins started making their way to the control room.

“What’s up, you think?” Hunk asked.

“Well no armor means no Galra,” Lance said breezily.

“She didn’t sound too upset,” Pidge agreed. “Maybe it’s time for more team bonding.” She waggled her eyebrows at Lance with a smirk on her face.

“I have no idea what you are implying,” Lance replied with a dismissive wave of his hand. Pidge snickered.

“I mean, maybe you’ll get close to that mullet.”

Lance squawked. “You devious little imp! How dare you insinuate such a thing! Have you forgotten he is my _rival_?”

“Uh huh,” Pidge said dryly.

“We’re all friends here,” Hunk said cheekily.

The doors to the control room opened, and the three younger paladins stepped inside. “Hunk! Betrayed by you as well! My heart is broken.” Lance swooned.

“Paladins,” Allura said by way of greeting. Her work area was active, screens brightly lit and displaying walls of Altean text. Lance glanced around the room, noting that Shiro and Coran were absent. Keith stood off to the side, arms crossed and staring at the floor as if it had personally offended him.  

 _What’s he have to be emo about now_?

Allura cleared her throat, the sound resonating through the mostly empty room. She stepped in front of her screens to address the paladins directly.

“I have a matter of great importance to discuss with you. I know you will have questions, but I will ask you to keep them to yourself for the moment. Do you understand?” The paladins nodded. Allura gave a tired smile. “Good.

“Several vargas ago, we were hailed by a lone Galran. She claims to be one of the last surviving members of the Blade of Marmora, among other things, and that she had information that would greatly benefit the Paladins of Voltron. Upon closer inspection, we have been able to identify her as one of Lotor’s generals, specifically his second in command.” She paused, allowing the weight of her words to sink in. “She has surrendered her weapons and is currently undergoing questioning by Shiro and Coran. While I urge you to be cautious, her efforts do seem to be genuine. We have been recording her conversation. The reason that I am showing this to you here is because the information discussed is... _sensitive_ to several of you. Coran, Shiro and I thought it best to have you separated for the actual questioning.

“What I need from you is to watch and listen. If there is a flaw in her explanation, we must discuss it. We must determine that what she is saying is the truth. Are you ready?”

A murmur of assent was echoed by the paladins, anticipation thick in the air. Allura gestured for everyone to stand in front of her screens. She exited out of the text and pulled up a video. The time count displayed that it was still recording. Allura started it from the beginning.

The video showed a brightly lit room with three chairs, three persons, and a rectangular metal table. The camera appeared to be mounted somewhere on the ceiling, and was positioned so the entire room-and the faces of the people in it-were seen. Shiro and the Galra sat across from each other, while Coran was seated in between on the shorter side. Both Shiro and Coran wore a tired, cautious expression. Their stiff body language told of deeper emotions.

The Galran woman looked disturbingly familiar to Lance, and it took him just a brief moment before it snapped into place with a feeling of horror. Seeing Keith locked blade-to-gun with one of Lotor’s generals; the one who send him flying, landing ass up in the air with a single kick to the chest. The same woman who sat across from Shiro.

_Shit._

“What's your name?” Shiro asked. His voice was a monotone.

“Acxa,” she replied, pronouncing it _ahk-shuh_.

“What's your rank?”

“I serve as Lotor’s second.”

“Serve?”

“This is a courtesy visit. I have information you will be interested in,” she replied, her face carefully blank.

“Does Lotor know you're here?” Shiro asked.

“No. He believes I am procuring funds. I cannot stay for longer than a quintent.”

“Why are you here?” Coran sounded genuinely curious.

“I've come as a surviving member of the Blade of Marmora.” Her voice was confident and quiet.

“Is that so?” Shiro pressed.

Acxa nodded once. “Our collision with you was...noticed by Lotor. Almost all the Blade have been captured and executed. Those who haven’t are in hiding.”

“How have you survived?” Coran asked.

“My part was the collection of intelligence. I've been in deep cover since being appointed as one of Lotor's generals-as such, all communications were brief and untraceable, going through a sophisticated level of encryption. Most of the messages were numerical locations for me to drop off intel.”

“You’re a spy,” Shiro stated.

“Yes,” Acxa replied, speaking slowly as if to a child. “Working for the Blade of Marmora, who are your allies.”

“I see,” Coran murmured.

“Do you have the knife? May we see it?” Shiro inquired.

“My badge is...no longer in my possession.”

“Where is it then?” Shiro asked, suspicion coating his features.

Acxa paused, exhaling deeply. “There is a young man aboard this ship, name of Keith Copernicus Kogane-”

“How do you know his full name?” Shiro interrupted.

“Because I’m the one who gave it to him.”

There was a beat of shocked silence from the two men. “Bullshit,” Shiro growled. Coran held up a hand for silence. “Computer, please scan Acxa for maternal DNA in comparison to Keith.”

A ring of light enveloped Acxa, disappearing quickly. A moment later the computer spoke.

“Maternal match: 100%.”

Acxa smirked, and _fuck_ , Lance had seen that smirk before. He was _harassed_ by that smirk, plastered on Keith’s face anytime he got the upper hand in _anything-_

And those eyes. Yeah sure, the ‘whites’ of her eyes were pale yellow, but her irises were the same intense dark indigo that Keith had. The same skinny nose, same heart shape chin and quiznak, even their _eyebrows_ looked similar. Lance looked over to Keith. He held himself stiffly, his face expressionless. The lack of a reaction was suspicious to Lance before he realized with a start-

_He already knew._

“I do not have my badge because I left it with Keith. I hope you understand.”

“Of course,” Coran replied.

Shiro was quiet. He looked angry, his flesh hand clenched into a fist. He spoke slowly, pushing his words out through gritted teeth. “You _abandoned_ him-”

“I left him on Earth with his father. There was no real life that I could offer him. I left him so he’d stay out of this godforsaken war.” Her face twists in almost a smile. “Then he throws himself right in the middle of it.”

“You left him-”

“ _With his father_. From the fact that Keith is here, though, I can guess that he’s passed. We had an understanding that Keith was not to leave the planet...it’s a shame. Charles was a good man. Kind when he had no reason to be.” Acxa reached up to her hair clips and pulled out a small rectangular object. She placed it on the table and pushed it forward with her finger. “This is a flash drive. I keep my fondest memories on it. It contains the proof you seek, documents how we lived. Any more answers you will find there. We should continue.”

“You said you had information?” Coran asked while Shiro pocketed the drive.

“Yes. I come with the name of a planet: TI-897. It is the fourth planet in the Kyrio system located in the Outer Reaches. That is where you’ll find the two humans the Champion was captured with.”

“My family!” Pidge exclaimed. Lance was torn between the surge of elation at the news on Pidge’s family and the stab of concern seeing the way Shiro flinched at the title.

“How do we know this isn’t a trap?” Shiro questioned firmly. Acxa blinked and tilted her head, and the action reminded Lance of a cat. Shiro continued. “You seemed plenty eager to cause us harm the last time we met. Who were you with then?”

“We’re known as Lotor’s half-breed generals. And as I recall, we allowed you to flee to your Lions unharmed.”

“You attacked us.”

“We had what we came for. We defended our position.”

There was a beat of silence as the two commanders stared each other down. Coran broke the tense quiet by asking, “Who are the generals? What can they do?”

“There’s Narti. She’s the one with the cat-that’s Kova. He used to be the Hag’s cat.”

“The Hag?”

Acxa’s lip curled in disgust. “Haggar, the leader of the Druids. She pumped quintessence into him to treat an...illness, from what I understand. She used too much. His life is much, much longer than it should be. He acts as Narti’s eyes-she’s blind and mute.”

“How does she fight?”

“Hand to hand. In addition she uses her tail as a weapon. That’s not what makes her special. She has telepathic capabilities-specifically, she can make people _forget_ about things.” Acxa turned to Shiro. “You can’t remember what happened after you were phased out of your Lion, can you?” Shiro didn’t answer, staring at her with an expression of horror and deep-seated rage. “You won’t be able to. No one can.”

“What the hell did you do to me?” It was barely a whisper.

“So you do believe me.” She paused, the silence saturated with tension. She spoke quickly. “We put an implant into your brain. It’s remotely controlled. Lotor has no plans to activate it in the near future, which means you have _time_ . Time to get it removed. It’s attached to your hippocampus, and works by flooding your brain with a burst of chemicals that trigger the fight-or-flight response. The purpose of this implant was to trigger a flashback so intense you would default to your Arena training, killing...well. Whomever happened to be near you at the time. That _doesn't have to happen_ , if you remove it quickly.”

Lance felt like he was gonna be sick. He went around the room, looking at his friends faces. Hunk looked like he was three seconds from blowing chunks. Pidge was quietly shaking with anger. Allura stood completely still, face hardened and breathing calm. Keith face was expressionless, his eyes burning with some deep emotion. Lance couldn’t imagine what the hell could be going through his head right now. He remembered how _devastated_ Keith had been while Shiro was gone.

“You said there were others?” Coran prompted stiffly.

“Yes. Zethrid-she's the biggest. She's bloodthirsty and can be cruel; the only person she truly listens to being Lotor. She mans the guns on his ship.”

“Anyone else?”

“Only one-Ezor. She has natural cloaking abilities that are extremely useful for stealth. I trust her the most. She doesn't know where my true tendencies lie, but...she does not have the capability to be sadistic. When I was on Earth, she was my connection to the Empire-she would bring me fuel and other supplies. I suspect that she might align herself with your cause under the right circumstances.”

“What can you tell us about Lotor?”

Acxa was quiet for a few ticks before answering. “He is one of the more merciful rulers in Galran history. That being said, he has considerable sadistic tendencies. I must confess I am not sure what your goal is for the Empire. Regardless-you should know he is the one of the most dangerous and skilled opponents you will ever face. He is one of the most brilliant men I have met. As a tactician, he borders on genius. In addition to being highly skilled at combat training and piloting, his strategic ability is extremely adaptable. I do not believe you can defeat him as you are. Depending on what you want to achieve, a peace treaty may be a viable option.”

“You want us to _negotiate_ with him?” Anger was still thick in Shiro’s voice.

“I’m not saying that. I am saying it would be easier than killing him and overthrowing the entire Empire. You would have to rebuild _everything_.” She shrugged. “Ultimately, it’s your decision.”

“What are his plans for us?” Coran inquired.

“As of right now, he is watching you. We have yet to receive a kill order, despite Zethrid’s request for one.”

“Watching us? Could you be more specific?”

“He knows you are not the same paladins who defeated Zarkon. Something affecting your ability with your Lions. The first time you encountered us, you could not form Voltron. He is curious to see what you will do next.”

“What are you going to do after you leave us?” Shiro asked.

“By coming here, I hoped to convey to that for the moment you are free to consider your options. We generals will not pursue you unless ordered, and I will do what I can to keep everyone focused. I also will do what I can if any of you are captured. For the time being I cannot act in a way that would compromise my cover. I am taking a severe risk alerting you to my presence in an effort to prove I will work with you where I can.”

“Just a courtesy visit,” Coran surmised. Acxa nodded.

“Do you have anything else to add?” The anger had left Shiro’s voice. Now he just seemed tired.

“Only one thing,” Acxa said hesitantly. It was strange seeing her look almost sheepish compared to her earlier behavior. “I have a few vargas before I need to leave. If it’s possible, I would like to see my son.”

“That will be his decision to make.”

“Of course.”

The video came to a stop. Lance blinked, reeling from the intensity of the information. The control room was quiet for a moment before Allura spoke.

“Shiro and Coran are heading to the med bay to do a brain scan. We’ll get his...situation taken care of. We’ll have a full briefing after dinner-for now, you are excused.” She turned on her heel and started down toward the medical bay. Hunk and Pidge followed in earnest, leaving Lance and Keith alone.

Silence stretched on for a few ticks longer than was comfortable. Lance wasn’t sure what to say, so he kept it as casual as he could. “You alright, man?”

“Fine. I'm gonna…go,” Keith mumbled as he walked away.

Lance sighed, attempting to rub the tension out of his forehead. _What a mess._ He started towards the med bay, hoping there was some way he could help out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Ch. 1) It feels so good to finally be writing again! A thousand thanks to my lovely beta and friend. 
> 
> What did you guys think? I would love to hear your opinions!
> 
> Credit for Keith's middle name headcanon goes to End in Trouble and Start with a Grin by  
> DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee. I chose it because I see Keith's father thinking "Copernicus messed with the system and shattered the illusion, and I want that for my son." Plus, half-alien. Subtle reference. 
> 
> What's on the flash drive? Who knows.... ;) The next chapter will follow Keith and his thought process, and a confrontation between mother and son. Be prepared for mega angst. 
> 
> I wanted to take a moment here to explain some things in this chapter. I feel like Shiro would be very defensive of Keith, especially where Acxa is concerned. The brain ship is meant to address Shiro's status as compromised by the Galra (another theory out there is the clone theory, who is referred to as Kuron). I am not pursuing that, but I think that the canon of the show hints strongly at Shiro being altered in some way during his captivity; the removal of the brain chip solves this problem.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Voltron or these characters.


	2. Grass is Greener

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Acxa and Keith meet face to face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised y'all angst. Hope you enjoy. :)
> 
> Warnings that apply in this chapter: brief mention of self-hatred.

Keith had long since gotten used to idea that his parents were never coming back. He knew his father had died in a car accident-that being the bare sum of information the social worker was willing to tell him about it before dropping him off at the orphanage. While his mother’s fate was unknown, the dreams of her returning soon died out after he’d turned thirteen and entered his tenth foster home.

At that point, he couldn’t remember what his mother had looked like. What kind of mother would want a son who couldn’t even remember her face?

Later, when his suspicion of his blood started rearing its ugly head, his sense of shame had morphed into something darker. He knew _something_ about him was fucked up-the unspoken reason he was passed off from foster home to foster home, never quite able to make it a full year in each one. He remembered hearing his sixth foster mother-a swollen bitch of a woman who couldn’t be pleased no matter what he did-screech at her husband, exclaiming why they had to send Keith back. “ _He’s violent and he’s fucking stupid! There’s something wrong with his head. I don’t want that boy here anymore. I want him and his shit out of here in the morning, you understand?”_ That memory he had held close to his heart at the Garrison; a reminder to focus, of what the alternative was. He had to prove himself useful so he would not be dismissed.

He managed to make it two whole years before he messed that up, too.

Keith groaned. His brain hurt, aching from processing the _beyond fucked_ events of the day. He had felt a weird sense of gratitude when Allura had told him who his mother was before he had to deal with the other paladins. She had hugged him, assuring him that whatever was discussed, he was an essential part of Voltron and would not be replaced. Keith tried to smile while the new information was wreaking havoc in his brain: that his mother was not only here and alive, but he had also _fought_ her, as one of _Lotor’s generals_ . He kept his eyes glued to the floor as the other paladins entered the control room. Anticipation with a razor’s edge grew in the Red Paladin's stomach as the video played. At first, Keith was just suspicious; her behavior seemed too practised, too smooth. When they approached Keith as a subject matter, the Red Paladin was surprised at the _anger_ in Shiro’s voice; of how he had verbally pushed aside Coran’s easy acceptance to spit the words Keith himself had never thought he’d have the chance to say.

_“You abandoned him.”_

Keith’s brain itched at the mention of his father’s name. He remembered it, but after locking all the memories of his early childhood into a small box in the back of his mind, he had almost forgotten. Curiosity burned through the Red Paladin at the mention of the flash drive. “ _It contains the proof you seek, documents how we lived. Any more answers you will find there.”_ The answer she gave was vague. It was a move made with purpose, and Keith felt resentment grow in a pit in his stomach. _Gone for fourteen years but she doesn’t think she owes me a straight answer?_

As the video progressed, he felt a sense of relief blossom with the location of Pidge’s family. He knew how much that meant to Pidge. It didn’t take very long for that slight warmth to twist into horror as Acxa _taunted_ Shiro. The words _we put an implant into your brain_ almost made him physically sick-that such a violating thing could be done to Shiro by his own fucking mother, his own _blood._ He felt his skin crawl as she explained it to him-that yes, they’d _meant_ to make Shiro lose control in the worst way possible. It was a fear Shiro had carried with him since his encounter with Haggar; since he faced that twisted version of himself. Keith knew this from private sparring sessions in the training room, held between the two men in the deadest hours of the night-cycle. Keith was the only one who Shiro allowed himself to break down in front of.

Keith couldn’t tell if Acxa knew or even cared about the effect the information would have. She was so damn _calm_ about the whole thing, as if she was making some type of banal small talk rather than letting him know she’d helped make his worst fear more than just paranoia.

After that, creeping numbness had set in. He understood the rest of the dialogue that was exchanged, but did not feel any emotional pull. He’d more or less fled to his room afterwards, needing time to process the questioning.

Keith fiddled with his blade (or is it considered hers now?) as he stared at the wall in his room, fingers meticulously stroking the cool metal. A sharp knock on the door startled him out of his thoughts.

He opened the door to see Lance, who was resting his weight against the doorframe. The look on his face was serious, his blue eyes shining with concern.

“Hey man.”

“Hey.”

Lance swallowed before rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. “So look. Shiro wants to know if, ah, you want to talk to her?”

Keith took a moment to consider. Questions burned on a loop in his mind, chief among them being _How could you leave me_ and _Why now? When I don’t need you anymore?_ He remembered the disgust he’d felt at how she’d talked to Shiro-and _yeah, fuck it_ -that’s all he needed. He wanted answers and regardless of his unease, he now had a chance to get some without having to risk Voltron.

“Okay.”

“I’ll walk you,” Lance murmured. They moved in tense but companionable silence, weaving a route past the control room and into a lower level of the castle that Keith had never fully explored before. The long hallway was windowless, lights fixed on the angle between the walls on the ceiling. The sound of their footfalls echoed in the enclosed space.

They approached a door. Lance stopped walking. “Do you want me there with you?” He asked. Keith was grateful for the offer, and he tried to let it show through his tone.

“I think I’m alright. Thanks though.”

“Okay,” Lance said hesitantly. He gave the Red Paladin a small smile before heading back down the hallway. Keith took a deep breath to steady himself before stepping inside.

It was the same room shown in the video. Acxa looked up from where she was sitting, meeting Keith eye-to-eye. His mouth felt like ashes, questions dying at the tip of his tongue.

“Keith.” She stood up slowly, working her way around the table to stand closer to him. His heart hammered in his chest and he clenched his fists to keep his hands from shaking. “Don’t come any closer,” he blurted. He could feel his eyes start to burn from tears and he gritted his teeth against it. She froze in place, her eyes never leaving his.

“It’s good to see you again,” she said, her voice soft. “I’ve missed you.” Keith flinched at her words. Acxa frowned slightly. “I don’t mean to upset you-”

“It’s a little fucking late for that,” he snapped.

“Fair enough,” she offered easily. It was quiet for a few dobashes before Keith spoke.

“How the hell could you do that to Shiro?”

“It was a backup scenario thought of by Lotor in order to take Voltron down if needed-but I came here before it could be turned on. I prevented that from happening by coming here-”

“You violated him! You cut him open and fucked with what makes him himself! Don't you _dare_ try to make yourself out to be a savior!”

Acxa blinked several times in surprise at the outburst. Keith was rapidly losing his composure, something Charles had struggled with. Acxa was intrigued, as Keith’s behavior was much more _human_ than she’d calculated. “I apologize for my role,” she said cautiously. “Many different behavioral modifiers are forced upon prisoners-and soldiers- of the Empire. These methods are part of the reason why I joined the Blade.” Keith stopped for a moment, face scrunching up as he processed her words. She continued. “I understand that you are angry that I was involved with your friend. I could not risk my cover by insisting he be spared at the time we had him in custody. I could however let him know after the fact, which I have done. I do not know what more you want from me.”

Something inside Keith snapped. The bottle where he stuffed all of his sadness over the loss of his parents so he could just _focus_ and push through things popped its cork. He was aware he was screaming, but he couldn’t stop the words hysterically spilling out of his mouth. “You can’t figure it out can you? You fucking _sociopath_ ! He’s the closest thing I have to a brother. This team is the closest goddamn thing I have to a family because _you left me!_ Oh god, _how could you leave me?! Why wasn’t I good enough for you? You were supposed to come back!_ ” Keith sobbed, his whole body wracking with the force of it. He sounded as if he was being torn apart.

Acxa was quiet, and she tasted the sharp tang of regret on her tongue. Keith was in such obvious pain. It unsettled her knowing she was the cause of it. She crossed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around him and pressing his head to her chest. “Oh, baby…” She whispered, stroking his hair soothingly. He wrapped his arms around her subconsciously. Acxa guided him over to the table, seating him in one of the chairs. She sat directly across from him and reached for his hand, holding it gently while she waited for him to come back to himself. Keith rubbed his eyes roughly with his other hand, obviously angry at himself for letting his tears fall, and once again Acxa was struck at the similar behavior between the two Koganes.

Eventually Keith’s breathing settled and his tears slowed. Acxa kept stroking his hand in a way meant to be soothing. She tried not to read too much into the shudders that passed through his body as she did so. The Red Paladin was emotionally spent from the intensity of the outburst, and he stayed quiet.

“...Do you really want to know why?” She asked softly. Keith’s eyes widened for a moment before he nodded.

“The Blade would not accept children. I would have to return to Galran space, which means that if I brought you with me, you would have been raised as a loyal servant of the Empire. Things are different there; laws are much more...restrictive than on Earth. Given who I am-who I take orders from-you would have been given some of the finest military training in the Empire, which would most likely result in a process called Editing.” Acxa sighed heavily. “It’s a form of behavior modification used in the Empire, usually as a punishment for lack of discipline or control. The thought behind it being _why waste a soldier when it’s just a handful of personality defects_ ? One of the problems with that is the definition of ‘personality defect’ includes disobeying orders for any reason at all. That’s what I received my sentence for. I know you haven’t seen the worst of it, but you’ve seen enough; the enslavement, the experimentation, the torture and the _hopelessness_ the subjugated have. I objected loudly enough and the Druids removed that part of me.” She averted her eyes, face twisting into a sheepish expression. “It’s just...an emptiness. A void where something used to be. I remember objectively that it used to horrify me, but I can’t get the same response anymore in those situations. I wanted to protect you from that, and the only way to do that was to keep you away from the Empire.” Acxa cupped Keith’s face tenderly. “I didn’t leave you because I didn’t _want_ you, baby; I left you because I love you, and I wanted you to stay whole. Earth was the only place I could give that to you.”

“...But why didn’t you come back? You never visited me _at all_. Dad died a few months after you left.”

Acxa’s insides felt hollow, her eyes widening. It took a few moments to push through the shock so she could answer. “I had no official reason to return to Earth. Any attempt to do show would be suspicious and would risk my cover-”  

“That seems awfully convenient. I needed you, and you _abandoned_ me-”

“I apologise, Keith, but-”

“You can't explain this away. Nothing you can say will make up for the fact that you weren’t there!”

Acxa blinked, remembering the conversation that she’d had with Charles when she’d told him she’d received her deployment orders. _“He’s not gonna remember you, honey-he’s too young. If you ever see him again, he’s going to be angry at you; and he’s gonna have every right to be. Promise me you’ll be careful with him, alright?”_ She opted for open acceptance of his anger.

“You’re right. I wasn’t. None of my excuses matter.”

Keith narrowed his eyes. “That won’t work either.”

“I don’t expect it to.”

“Then why bother?”

“Because it’s the truth. Something you have been denied for...longer than is acceptable.”

Keith started at Acxa for a long moment, his eyes burning with anger and suspicion. She held his gaze, and he could see something that looked like regret on her features.  

“You’re going to leave after this?” He said flatly, more of a statement than a question.

“I am.”

“Why even come here at all then?”

“I took the soonest possible opening to visit your team. I knew after our confrontation that Lotor might activate the implant sooner rather than later.”

“I thought you said you came as ‘one of the last surviving members’ of the Blade of Marmora.”

“I did. I had many reasons for coming here, as I have explained. I knew if I mentioned that bit of information first your two friends would have a higher chance of believing me.”

“So you were just here about the implant, then?”

Acxa growled internally in frustration. He seemed impartial and furious towards her, convinced that she barely considered him. This was not the effect she had wanted to have. “ _No_ , Keith; I am also here because I wanted to see you. I know that I have not been there for you and...it is one of my greatest regrets. I wish things could have been different. I also know that you probably don’t believe me.” His silence answered her question all too well. She continued. “My intention was to let you know who I was when I could. I apologize for not contacting you sooner. If it helps, I have been keeping an eye on you since you and your team took the Red Lion-”

“It doesn’t.”

“...Fair enough.”

“You could have told me when we were in the Weblum together.”

Acxa repressed a wince. If not for her comm being directly linked to Lotor at the time, she would have. “You are correct.”

“Why didn't you?”

Acxa sighed, listing the details knowing full well it wouldn’t help her situation. She owed him honesty, at the very least. “My helmet takes recordings more often than not. At the time, Lotor was watching.”

“Is that why you don’t have your helmet with you now?” Keith asked. She nodded.

“Why are you with Lotor? Why not any other Galra?”

“Lotor is of a...unique mindset in that he will cooperate with those of mixed race. He is himself-half Galran, half Altean.”

“He’s half Altean?”

“Yes. Haggar was his mother-she used to be Altean. What she is now is...unknown.”

“You still haven’t told me why you _serve_ Lotor,” Keith accused.

“He is a Galran prince-the only son of Zarkon. Serving him is most likely the highest honor a half-breed like me would be allowed to have.” She cocked her head, watching his face carefully. “Most Galra have a fixation on racial purity. Half-breeds are treated as second-class citizens. It should come as no surprise to you that the Empire subjugates its own citizens as well. There are countless reasons why the Emperor needs to fall-”

“Isn’t Lotor the Emperor now?”

“You did not kill Zarkon-”

“What the hell do you mean, of _course_ we did-”

“He was already dead,” Acxa interrupted firmly. “He died of exposure to Quintessence before the war started. You did not kill him because he was not alive when you faced him.”

Keith face contorted in an expression of outrage. “He was able to give orders! That's close enough!”

“I don’t know what he is. I don’t know what Haggar is either, or Kova. When a living being consistently doses itself with large amounts of Quintessence, it _changes_. What they are mutates into something else entirely. Only the Druids know the specifics of what that is. What I can tell you is that Haggar knows the ritual for resurrection. If you want them to stay dead, you have to kill them both.”

“...Look, even _if_ I believed you, that makes no sense-”

“You pilot one cat-shaped piece of an ancient warship that forms with four other equally ancient cat-shaped warships that form a giant man-bot that’s the most powerful weapon ever created. You do this through telepathic communications with your team. How does that pass the believability test?”

“Because it's true.”

“...yes. The same principle applies here,” Acxa said cooly. “You will learn in time.”

“Sure,” Keith said, tone implying the opposite.

“Might I ask you a question now?”

“Depends on the question.”

“Why are you fighting this war?”

“Because the universe needs us,” the Red Paladin said without hesitation. “Zarkon, Haggar and Lotor all need to go. The things the Galra Empire are doing are evil, and they need to be stopped.”

“Make sure in your moral quest that you do not forget you are Galran as well. Zarkon and Haggar are the main problem. Do not paint us all with the same brush or others will do the same with you. For some species, Galra is all they will see when they look at you. It was the same for the Blade.”

That reminded Keith of something he had wanted to ask her earlier. “How did the Blade get discovered?”

“Intelligence collected from planets you’ve freed spoke of a group of Galran Rebels fighting alongside Voltron. A surprising amount of people were willing to talk. As such, Lotor ordered their executions. Some do still survive, but...I’ve only know of a few making it to the Outer Reaches. Lotor’s assassin squads are...efficient.”

“What do _you_ fight for?”

Acxa blinked, taking a moment before responding. “When I was younger, I fought for myself. Life was not easy for me, and I did what I had to in order to survive. I joined the military branch looking for a way off planet. What I saw there compelled me to join the Blade. At that point, what I wanted was an end to the continuous rape the Empire forces onto their newly conquered territories. Now I’m not so sure anymore. Everything seems so much more complicated that it did when I was younger. Now, I suppose the only thing I can really name is...well. My time on Earth was the most content period of my chaotic life. Your father and I debated on the war repeatedly.” She smiled warmly at the memory. “We would disagree on quite a few things, but there was one point he made that always stuck with me, which is this: there comes a point in a war where whatever one is trying to achieve is overshadowed by the amount of suffering it has caused; a point where it simply isn’t worth it anymore, no matter how pure the original intention. The Emperor’s vision of universal assimilation simply isn’t worth its cost in blood. It must come to an end.”

“...You keep bringing him up. My father.”

“You keep reminding me of him.” Acxa smiled, though not unkindly. “You should be proud to be his son. He was a good man-incredibly perceptive. I valued his judgement greatly. Charlie was...one of the few people I’ve met who I could consider my equal. Do you remember him?”

Keith shook his head. Something sharp and ugly twisted in Acxa’s stomach. “He loved you very much, Keith. And I loved him.” To Keith’s shock, Acxa started to quietly shed tears. “It’s a real shame that he’s gone. The Universe would be a lot better if it had more souls like him inside it.”

A sharp knock at the door startled both of them. Coran tucked his head into the room. “You might want to take your leave soon,” he said to Acxa. “Your time is almost up.” She nodded. “I will be out in a few moments,” she told him. Coran nodded and slipped back out the way he came.

“Well,” Acxa said. She made no more to get up, instead threading her fingers through Keith’s hand and squeezing gently.

“Do you have any other stops to make?” Keith asked, trying to be casual. Acxa wiped her face calmly and stood. “No,” she answered. “I’m going straight back to base after this. Do you know where the hangar is?”

“I’ll walk you,” Keith said, practically jumping out of his chair and leading her down the hallway. They walked together in silence, and Acxa considered the events that had unfolded since she first arrived. Her goal of being on friendly terms with her son was not yet realized, but he seemed to have moved past the hatred he’d first presented her with. _It would have to do for now._

Coran and Allura were in the hangar waiting for them. Allura held herself stiffly, while Coran was at least making an attempt at appearing relaxed. They stood next to a small, sleek-looking Galran stealth ship. As they came closer, Keith could see that Coran was holding a small black bag and a laser pistol.

“Glad you could make it!” Coran said cheerily. He offered the objects to Acxa, who took them without hesitation. “Thank you for your hospitality,” she said. Turning to look at Keith, she smiled gently. “I’m sure we’ll see each other again soon.”

“Sure,” he echoed.

She traced her eyes over his face one last time, committing it to memory. Her heart ached in her chest. The pain of leaving her family was so much more _tolerable_ when she didn’t have to look them in the eye. “I love you,” she said softly before opening her craft’s door and getting situated inside. Acxa gave Keith one last smile before exiting the Castle, the lights of her ship flashing a brilliant blue. The burst of color itched at his brain.

_She’s leaving again._

“How are you holding up?” Coran asked kindly, startling Keith out of his thoughts. He nodded. “I’ll...be fine. Where’s Shiro?”

“He’s out of surgery and into the healing pod. He should be out before dinner, but he will need bedrest for _at least_ a few quintents,” Allura answered. At the crestfallen look on Keith’s face, Coran gripped his shoulder reassuringly. “There’s no reason to be worried. He’ll be back in tip-top shape in no time!”

“He’s a survivor,” Allura agreed.

“Okay. I’ll go hit the training deck,” Keith murmured.

“Try not to hit it too hard!” Coran chuckled.

“Uh, thanks,” Keith said, jogging towards the training deck. He hoped he could get some relief to his aching brain by not thinking for awhile.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...what did you think? I would love to hear your thoughts. ;)
> 
> The next chapter is going to have two story arcs-one following Acxa and one following Team Voltron. What's on the flash drive will be at least partially discussed there. 
> 
> I should note that these chapters are basically POVs, and that the views reflected in the chapter aren't the entire picture. Keith would interpret Acxa's interaction with Shiro as taunting, although she did not mean it that way. Her behavior-mainly the calm demeanor-is due to the Editing process, which will be discussed in greater detail in later chapters. I feel like Keith would still be angry no matter how 'perfect' the reason for Acxa leaving him was; Acxa's view on this is that she made a difficult choice based on love. At this point, Keith does not trust Acxa, but he is willing to at least listen to what she has to say.
> 
> The reason for the way Coran acts towards Acxa-he is playing the game of politics (one he undoubtedly has plenty of experience in). At this point, he does not trust her.
> 
> The fixation on racial purity is based in canon (first description of Lotor's Generals).


	3. Searching for Normalicy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Acxa undergoes a stealth mission. Meanwhile, Team Voltron finds out some of what is on the flash drive...and Keith finds out who his father was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up: this chapter is significantly longer than the last two.
> 
> Warnings that apply in this chapter: canon-typical violence and a brief mention of non consensual modification.

Pidge sat in the Med Bay. Her eyes were glued to her laptop, fingers typing busily as she waited for Shiro to wake up. Upon his entrance to the Med Bay he had undergone a brain scan. Sure enough, a small rectangular device was attached to his hippocampus, and he had undergone the removal surgery almost immediately. Pidge tried to push the ashen look on his face out of her thoughts. She was almost succeeding. Her brain hurt with the worry that pushed through her in waves. The Green Paladin cared about the other members of the team, _of course_ , but Shiro was a connection to her old life. He cared about her family for _who they were_ , not just because they were connected to her in some way. It was...comforting, in an odd way, to know they were both mourning the same people.

Coran had set up the surgery-the surgeon in question being a robotic arm with long, slender gripper fingers. He’d stubbornly refused to let Pidge be in the room at the time of the surgery. Pidge had steadfastly argued back before Coran pulled her out of the room and gently explained to her that what Shiro needed most was to be alone. _“You see my dear...Shiro is the type of commander who will stay strong in front of his men. It’s one of the things that makes him such a good leader. Pidge...I’m only going to say this once. He’s terrified. He needs to not be strong for you right now.”_

She wished Shiro didn’t have to feel that way-but she understood. She had grabbed her laptop and, after externally scanning Acxa’s flash drive for malware, she had started working on decrypting the files. She had been at it for two vargas now, and she was so close…

DECRYPTION COMPLETED flashed on her screen, and she fist-pumped the air in triumph. With a grin she opened the drive. The first menu contained three folders labeled _Earth, Paladins,_ and _Keith_ . Pidge’s eyes narrowed in suspicion when she saw the last folder. She didn’t trust Acxa, not in the slightest. The woman was clearly a sociopath and a traitorous spy _at best_ -not to mention whatever role she took in Shiro’s clearly involuntary surgery. Pidge was sure that Acxa would attempt to manipulate Keith, and the Green Paladin was worried that Keith would want his mother back so badly he’d fall for whatever she fed him. Determined, Pidge clicked on the folder.

A single video was inside it. From the thumbnail, she could see two people-one who looked human, the other seemed to be Acxa-sitting on a couch. Pidge glanced around the Med Bay seeing that she was alone. _Huh_. She couldn’t remember hearing the others leave. With an internal shrug, she started playback of the video.

* * *

 

The sky on Bakil was a brilliant orange marbled with swirling streaks of black clouds. A large Thurukian tower jutted into the air, its base nestled in the dense lavender foliage that coated the planet. A faint pink mist curled over the top of the canopy.

Acxa pushed through the forest on foot, having left her ship some distance away. Reaching the base of the tower quickly, she took cover behind an exceptionally large tree trunk while surveying the entrance.

 _“I have a mission for you,”_ Lotor had said soon after she had returned to their base on Seriv. _“The Thuruks have kept us at bay for too long. They have what they think is a secret base on Bakil. I want all the information you can pull from that place. There must be a weakness, and you will find it.”_

 _“Yes, my Prince,_ ” Acxa had responded. _Ever the loyal servant._

The bottom of the base was surprisingly well-fitted with tech. Two machine gun turrets sat above the doorway, cameras mounted above them. Three Thuruks stood guard. They were tall, pale creatures with four arms and deceivingly wiry muscles, their eyes made of shiny black clusters on their foreheads. They each held two assault rifles Acxa recognized from the Scavenger hordes that controlled the Outer Reaches. Surveying the tree limbs surrounding the tower, she could see several laser triggers hooked to even more machine gun turrets. She counted four of them, though she could only see the front half of the structure. She stealthily moved to the south wall of the tower. There she counted two turrets and six triggers. Acxa considered her options-while activating the triggers would cause a distraction, it would send the out the army housed inside the tower. Her ship would be discovered quickly and destroyed. Reaching for her scanner, she checked the outer walls of the tower. It was made of old stone mined-off world, long lines of cracks weathering through the sides. No sensors had been placed on the walls, and the only cameras were on the roof and the entrance. Three windows were fitted into the walls, the closest one being halfway up the length of the tower. Upon a closer look, Acxa saw that it had been opened. A thrill of excitement bolted through her.

She looked over the tree limbs once more, searching for one close enough to the tower to jump from that didn’t have a turret or trigger hooked to it. Finding one, she climbed the tree and stepped swiftly along the shaking limb. Acxa jumped, sinking her claws into a crack and hoisting herself upwards. She scaled the tower quickly, using her claws and pointed boot toes to anchor herself as she ascended. With a final push, she grabbed the window ledge and peered inside. A guard stood by the door, facing out the window. In a smooth motion, Acxa reached for her gun and shot him in the head. With a grunt she swung over the ledge, walking toward the body of the freshly dead Thuruk.

All of Lotor’s generals had something specific that made them special, separating them from everyone else. For Narti it was her Druid blood; for Ezor it was her cloaking ability; for Zethrid it was her strength; and for Acxa, it was her Altean heritage. While it was exceptionally difficult for her to sustain her telepathic attributes for beyond a few ticks, she had been able to shift her appearance since she was a child; having been taught how to control it by her parents how to before the days of Galran occupation. _The only good thing to ever come out of that part of me_ , she thought with a familiar weariness. Acxa slung her pack off her back, stripping out of her uniform and placing it inside. Focusing, she closed her eyes and concentrated on the form of a Thuruk. She gritted her teeth through the intense pain, muscles and bone shredding through her back to form the extra limbs, her skin paling and shriveling. Her vision twisted as her eyes formed multiple facets. Blood pooled in her mouth as her teeth shifted to a vertical position. Swallowing it, she began to strip the dead Thuruk of his uniform and pulling the clothing onto her new form. Grabbing his body and dragging it out of sight, she opened the door and entered the hallway.

Her objective would most likely be some sort of computer bank, which had a high probability of being located somewhere close to the main control room. Moving leisurely she scouted her surroundings. The ceiling stretched high overhead, powerful bare white bulbs fixed to them. The hallway was relatively uncrowded-mostly small groups and solitary stragglers. Scanning the crowd, Acxa spotted a Thuruk with an exceptional amount of decoration on his breast. As she looked closer, she realized that the markings were of a commander. She ambled closer to him, the universal translator picking up their conversation.

“...has gone exceedingly well.”

“Yes. It seemed quite risky at the time, but the alliance seems to have worked out smoothly,” the commander said.

“It seems that way. Provided they do not betray us. Sir.”

The commander made a gesture of irritation. “That is no way to speak of our alliance. With that attitude we would have been enslaved by the Galra decapheebs ago.”

“With all due respect, sir, _both_ the Galra and the Scavs are murdering thieves-”

“In this war, every choice is a hard choice. One must pick between the best of two evils. You will learn that through experience,” the commander snapped at his insubordinate. A light flashed on a device nestled in his pocket. He pulled what looked like a low-tech communicator, trilling in annoyance when he deciphered the message. “The bridge again? Those idiots cannot figure out a damn thing for themselves. Come on, boy.”

“Yes, sir!”

Acxa contained her smirk. Sometimes her work was just too easy.

* * *

 

The briefing took place in the Med Bay after dinner. Altean medical technology, even in all its superiority, could not completely restore the damage from brain surgery. While Shiro was fully awake and could understand what was happening around him, he did not have his full range of motion. As a result he had been confined to bedrest. The other Paladins stood around him, Keith and Allura at his sides. Coran had scrounged up a projector from somewhere in the Castle. Pidge was in the process of hooking up her laptop to it.

“The surgery went very well,” Allura addressed Shiro, her words meant for the team. “You will need to stay resting for at least a few quintents, but you should be back to normal in no time.” She handed him a glass vial, a tiny rectangular chip inside it. “Here it is. You don’t have to worry any more-well, any more than you already have, I suppose.”

“How did you…how did you get it out?” Hunk queried quietly.

“The surgeon droid went in through the spinal cord and into the third ventricle. The hippocampus was pretty quick to get to after that. It grabbed the chip with its grippers, and backed out the way it came in,” Coran explained.

“Wait-how do you know what the parts of the brain are called?” Hunk asked.

“I bought an anatomy book from a Terran shop, last space mall we went to,” Pidge answered. “Thought it might come in handy for something the healing pods couldn’t fix.”

“Ahh, Pidge. What would we do without you?” Shiro speculated warmly, earning a small smile from the Green Paladin. It only increased when Lance added, “Isn’t _every_ mall a space mall?”

Allura cleared her throat. “We should get to the matter at hand. Keith-did Acxa tell you anything we should know?”

The Red Paladin scratched his head. “Uh...yeah. She said that we didn’t kill Zarkon? Something about him already being dead and Haggar knowing the ritual for ‘resurrection’ and um. If we want them dead we need to kill them both.”

“Do you believe her?” Allura asked sternly. Keith shrugged.

“...so we take down Haggar before she can revive Zarkon,” Pidge stated.

“She seemed pretty adamant that he was already alive...or awake, I guess,” Keith said.

“Is there any way to confirm that?” Lance asked.

“The use of the Druids only started after the fall of Altea. We would have to look for that information elsewhere,” Coran explained.

“Something tells me it won’t be easy to get,” Shiro murmured.

“Guys, I think we need to talk about something,” Pidge piped up. “No offense to Keith, but we need to be realistic here. Acxa is _clearly_ a sociopath. I for one don’t trust her. We need to be real careful about what we do with the information she gave us.”

“...does that mean you don’t want to check out that planet TI...something?” Hunk inquired.

“What I’m trying to say is that we need to see for ourselves,” Pidge corrected.

“Fair enough,” Allura allowed. “Shiro, Coran-what were your impressions of her?”

Shiro spoke first. “I think she knows more than she’s telling us. She’s disciplined. In my experience, Galra are usually crueler...which makes me think she was at least making an attempt to be sincere.”

Coran nodded. “I agree. While I still think we should verify what she said for ourselves, the likelihood that she was misleading us seems low.”

“She helped Lotor put a chip in Shiro’s brain! Could be crueler, my ass,” Pidge objected.

“The Galra are very...logical in their arguments. As much as I hate to say it, her behavior was be expected. More or less,” Allura said.

“Acxa did us a favor by letting us know who the generals were and how they fight. If she wasn’t serious I don’t feel like she would have told us that part. I thought she was honest when talking about Lotor,” Lance added.

“True, although she seemed to want him alive. I wonder how deep her ‘loyalty’ goes where he’s concerned,” Hunk speculated.

“I mean, think about it. What does she have to gain from coming here and telling us all that? Like, yeah, it _could_ be a trap-but look at the implant thing. We were able to prove that right away. Same with her claiming to be Keith’s mom. It’s pretty messed up that she was involved but because of that she knew about it, _and_ she let us know before it was activated,” Lance continued.

“Maybe she just didn’t want Keith to get hurt,” Pidge countered. “He’s pretty close to Shiro. It would make sense that he would be caught in the line of fire-maybe she knew that.”

“She said that she had been ‘keeping an eye on me’ since we got the Red Lion. It’s possible,” Keith mentioned.

“Even so, dude. You’re a part of Team Voltron. The Galra Empire are our _enemies_. I’m pretty sure this is treason,” Lance persisted. “Coran, do you know the punishment for treason in Purple Central?”

“Execution,” Coran answered easily.

“See? Why would she be risking that just to give us fake information? That doesn’t make sense.”

“She could have been lying when she said that Lotor didn’t know where she was,” Pidge pointed out. “Then it wouldn’t be treason. That reminds me-what about the whole Blade of Marmora thing? Can we confirm that?”

“We haven’t received any communication from them in quite some time. It could be possible,” Allura noted.

“I asked her what happened to them,” Keith recalled. “She said a lot of people on the planets we freed were willing to talk, that they didn’t trust them because they were Galra. She also said that Lotor has assassins who tracked down most of the Blade, but some of them made it to the Outer Reaches.”

“Where is that?” Shiro asked the Alteans.

“Way out in wild space. It was mostly unexplored when we went under,” Coran stated.

“Which could mean all sorts of things,” Keith muttered.

“Acxa said the planet Pidge’s family is on is out there,” Lance added.

“Hey uh aren’t we forgetting something? What about the flash drive?” Hunk inquired. There was a beat of silence. “Have you finished hooking up your laptop yet?” He asked Pidge.

“...yeah,” the Green Paladin said reluctantly.

“Let’s see what’s on it then,” Allura prodded. With a sigh, Pidge flicked on the display. The drive had been opened, and it displayed three folders labeled _Earth, Paladins_ and _Keith_. “I checked this thing out while Shiro was under. Here-” Pidge gestured to the Keith folder- “There’s a video left for you by your parents. You should check it out alone,” she said to Keith. “I checked it and there’s nothing awful. But again, that should be a personal-time thing.” Keith gave a small smile, knowing Pidge was trying to look out for him.

“What’s in the _Paladins_ folder?” Lance asked. Pidge clicked on it. Two items were displayed-an image file with an almost comical file size, and a document with only a few lines of text. Pidge opened the image file, the projector displaying an absolutely massive map of space. Lines of text in Galran and English were displayed over every planet, system and galaxy.

“Quiznak!” Coran exclaimed. “It appears to be a map of known space!”

“This could make the difference in the war,” Shiro agreed, eyes wide with surprise. He knew how much they needed this. It was quickly figured out that ten thousand years of war had not only drastically changed alliances; the Galra had also decimated entire systems in their constant leech of anything resourceful they could sink their claws into. The navigational information about the edges and major ports of Galran space would be a massive boon to Team Voltron.

“ _If_ it’s accurate,” Pidge countered dryly.

“It...appears to be so. Yes, I think it is. We’ll have to compare this to the map the Castle already has to be sure,” Allura remarked.

“Are the Outer Reaches listed? Is Earth? Man, this thing is _huge_ ,” Hunk commented.

Lance walked closer to the computer and gestured at Pidge asking for control. Pidge paused for a moment before stepping aside. Smiling in thanks, Lance zoomed out and searched for the Outer Reaches. Eventually, he found it. The Kyrio System lay four light-ticks away from the edge of the territory, the purple line of Galran occupation nowhere to be seen. On zooming in, he located the fourth planet from its star, listed as TI-897. Pidge’s eyes widened. As suspicious as she was, a part of her _hoped_ so fiercely. She wanted her family back so badly the desire _burned_ within her. She inspected the system-and the planet-closely. Kyrio was a single-star system with eight planets. From what she could see, two of the planets (TI-896 and TI-897) had vast blue oceans blooming on their surfaces. The system’s star Exiu was listed as a spectral K type yellow dwarf, a kind of star that allowed conditions for liquid water. It was somewhat smaller than Earth’s sun seemed to burn slightly cooler. Lance zoomed in even further on TI-897, lines of statistics popping up to the right of the display. The atmospheric content was cited as 75% Nitrogen, 24% Oxygen, .94% Argon, .03% Carbon Dioxide and a collective .03% consisting of Methane, Helium and Neon; in other words, the air was breathable.

“It appears to be habitable,” Allura concluded. “We should still exercise caution, of course. What else has Acxa left for us?”

Pidge minimized the map, display shrinking quickly. She clicked on the document, which contained two sets of coordinates and a radio frequency with the words _Drop Off_ and _Emergency Contact_ . Backing out, she clicked on the _Earth_ folder, which broke off into two subfolders: _Video Logs_ and _Stills_. Pidge turned to Keith. “I was only able to glance at this part of the drive. Most of this involves your parents, though you’re in here too as a baby. Are you okay with us seeing this stuff? It could be useful, but...it should be up to you.” There was quiet for a moment before Keith realized the team was actually waiting for his answer.

He nodded. “I trust you guys.”

Pidge opened the stills and enlarged the images. The first two images were displayed, both of Acxa, her lips pulled back from her teeth and her hands held up to either side of her face, exposing her nails. The first was how they had seen her; her skin a lavender color, teeth jagged and vicious looking, long thick claws extending from her fingertips. The second picture was her looking _human_ ; her teeth square, nails stubby and thin, skin pale and hair black. The sclera of her eyes had shifted from yellow to white-her pupils, however, remained the same dark indigo color.

The next image showed a human Asian male who was immediately recognizable as Keith’s father due to their similarity in appearance. A scar cut through his left eyebrow, his hair shaggy and stubble showing through on his chin. A large grin split through his face. Tattoos drawn in black ink coated the strip of skin between his shoulders and his elbow on both arms; it was hard to make out the fine detail. The next picture was of Charles and Acxa standing close together. The absence of light indicated that it was nighttime. Charles held a cigarette in one hand and appeared to be mid-conversation with Acxa, a small smile on her face. Another picture showed the two each standing by a bike, Acxa’s clearly Galran in origin. Charlie’s looked like a cobbled together mix of metal and engines, his face beaming proudly. Pidge cycled through a few more pictures of Charles and Acxa together in various situations; one was of them sitting on the couch together, Charles watching television while Acxa was typing on what appeared to be a Galran laptop; another was of them eating dinner; the next showed them holding each other, Acxa’s arms wrapped around Charlie's neck while his arms were wrapped around her waist, his face buried in her neck. That picture spoke of a deep intimacy. Keith had an odd feeling seeing these images of domesticity, snapshots of his parents whom he barely remembered. He wondered who had taken the photographs. The next picture was of Charlie, gesturing loudly with his arms toward a bundle of cloth. Keith realized with a shock that it was not only a baby, but it was _him_.

The images kept coming. Acxa holding Keith, a tender smile on her face. Charles bracing him up high above his head, arms outstretched, with what appeared to be a smear of paint on Keith’s forehead. A selfie taken by Charles of the three of them curled up on a bed, one of Acxa’s arms draped over them. A flurry of first birthday images. First Christmas. It was a show of a happy family, something Keith for so long thought he’d never experience. Something about it was _off_ , however; it was too disconnected, like seeing snapshots of someone else’s life.

Pidge watched Keith’s face carefully as she cycled through the images. She had gotten to know him well-all of them had during their time in space-and she liked the kid. His broody exterior was a front, clear as day; inside he was soft and gooey. She was impressed with the way he had managed to take care of himself for so long, also knowing he’d adapted because he’d had to. For most of his life, he had considered himself alone. While Pidge always had Matt, she often felt disconnected from most of her classmates. They both were the type of people who expressed their affections with actions rather than words. The two Paladins had made a habit of a few vargas of silent companionship somewhat frequently, Pidge usually working on her laptop while Keith polished his knife or read on a tablet Pidge had programmed for him in English. On the quintents they felt like talking, it was usually in hushed whispers about who was _really_ running things back on Earth or which cryptids were legit; point being, she’d bonded with him. Pidge wouldn’t deny him the information about his family, but she was worried about the effect it would have. The kid was _lonely_ , but he was also defensively antisocial. She could easily see him closing in on himself even further, and _damn it_ , that wasn’t what was needed. He started to shut down once the pictures of him began to appear. Sensing his growing discomfort, she exited out of the stills and moved to the videos. To her relief, no one objected.

Pidge had looked through these while waiting in the Med Bay. There was a detailed system of subfolders. There were only a couple of things she felt needed to be shown here, and she wanted to keep it just strategic significance if possible; otherwise, the tears would start. Pidge knew just how much Keith hated breaking down around anyone-even Shiro. It would be the last thing he needed. This already would be almost too much. She clicked on the video marked _Charlie Interview #1_ and started playback.

The scene showed Charles alone, sitting down on a corner of a couch, appearing to take place in a living room. A small end table was set next to the couch, a mug sitting on its surface.

“This is interview number one,” Acxa’s voice sounded to the right. “Interviewers Acxa and Ezor, subject one Charles Minseok Kogane, male human, aged 29 years. So, Charlie. Tell us about yourself.”

“Well...uh.” Charles replied eloquently.

“Alright how about we start with what you do for a living? What do you do so you can survive?” An unfamiliar female voice sounded. _Must be Ezor_.

Charles looked towards Acxa, speaking in a deep, husky twang. “You didn't tell her. Okay. Uh…” He licked his lips, turning his gaze to behind the camera where Ezor must have sat. “You know what a heist is?” At this, Pidge could see Keith’s eyebrows nearly shoot off his forehead. Lance gaped openly for a moment before closing his mouth.

“I'm not familiar with that term,” Ezor replied.

“I steal things with a group of other people. Basically.”

“So you're a thief?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Are you good?”

“We haven't gotten caught yet, if that's what you're asking.”

“He is,” Acxa answered bluntly, earning a quirk of Charles’s lips.

“What kind of things do you steal?” Ezor asked.

“Money and things to sell for money.”

“What do you do with the money?”

“It mostly goes to medical bills-my mother’s had a few rounds with cancer, and the insurance company fucked us by refusing to cover her. That’s why I got into it, but that’s not why I stayed.”

“Why do you do it then?”

Charlie’s smirk bloomed into a grin. “I do it for the thrill, for the challenge. There’s no other high like it.” _Sounds familiar_ , Pidge thought dryly.

“Where do you go?”

“It varies. We keep our targets outside of the United States.”

“Where specifically have you gone to steal things?” Ezor persisted.

“Wow you’re...blunt. Uh, let’s see here...been to Paris, Dublin, Dubai, and Montreal. That’s it.”

“You said you did this in a group? How’d you get involved with them?”

“I had a connection to one of the leadership.”

“And who was that? How’d you meet him?”

“We call him Jaguar, and I met him in Maybel.”

“Maybel? What’s Maybel?” Ezor asked.

“Maybel State Penitentiary. It’s an type of prison,” Acxa explained.

“ _What?_ ” Ezor asked incredulously. It sounded like she was grinning. “A _prison?_ What’d you do?”

Charlie was quiet for a moment, hesitation clear on his face. He licked his lips. “My lawyer managed to get it knocked down to Voluntary Manslaughter-in plain speak, that means murder. ...I assume you want to know the story?” Ezor must have nodded offscreen. Charlie scratched his head. “Okay then. Normally I wouldn’t, cause I wouldn’t want to scare y’all, but you ladies are a whole hell of a lot scarier than me. Ah. So. I was nineteen years old. One day I was over at my friend’s Trevor’s house- sometimes I would come over before he had made it home. It was fine; I had known his family for years. Anyways, I heard this...sound coming from the basement. Sounded like muffled screaming. Figured I should check it out, offer some help being as I knew these people…” His expression shifted, going from easygoing to haunted. “I went down into the basement, and...it led to Lindsay’s room-she’s Trevor’s sister. She was fifteen. I opened the door, and...Cole, her stepfather, that _sick fuck_ , was on top of her, making it hurt. I just...reacted. I pulled him off of her, shut the door and beat him to death.” Charlie’s gaze was distant, his words hollow. He scrunched up his eyelids and rubbe his face with a sigh. “I lost control, yeah. Can’t say I really regret it. You can’t fix that kind of sick.” He shrugged. “So. Was sentenced to Maybel. Only ended up staying for a nickel and three months-a nickel’s five years.”

“Why weren’t you incarcerated further? Is murder seen as a non-serious offense?”

“It’s not that. My mother and lawyer petitioned the state. My father died of a heart attack-he never could get used to the food here-and my mother got diagnosed with breast cancer. She needed help, and I’m an only child...so the state made an exception.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Ezor said, her voice shining with genuine sympathy. “If I may ask-did your father live somewhere else?”

“He lived in Korea. We moved to America when he was twenty-four and I was two,” Charlie replied.

“Which Korea? North or South?” Acxa interjected.

“Both. North first.”

“ _Both_?” Acxa repeated, surprise clear in her voice. “I understand it is extremely difficult to leave North Korea.”

“It is. Those who are caught are tortured, faced with public execution if they’re lucky and the labor camps if they’re not. My father left there when he was eighteen. He remembered it until the day he died. He didn’t often talk about it, but from what I understand my family wasn’t anything special there. Food wasn’t easy to get and we lost people. My grandfather decided he wanted more for his family and he made a break for it with my grandmother and father. They managed to make it up through Mongolia and to South Korea from there-well, my grandmother and father did. My grandfather died in China keeping the police off them long enough to escape.”

“How did he die?” Acxa asked.

Charlie took a sip from his mug. “He had a bag he’d filled with grenades he’d stolen from the military base before he’d left. He ran into the swarm of police and set them off. Worked like a charm.” _That explains a few things,_ Pidge thought.

“That’s...awful,” Ezor stated. Charles fixed her with an intense, even stare. “Some things are worth sacrificing for. He gave his life so his family could have freedom. I’m proud to share his blood.”

“Those people he killed. Charlie, surely you see that it wasn’t right to kill them too. He could have found another way,” she argued.

“I don’t give a good goddamn about those police,” Charles answered bluntly. “They were functioning as an oppressor. What they do-serve those in power who don’t give a fuck about them, those who only value their _complacency_ in the face of their numerous violations-is just as repulsive as those giving the orders. One man can give an order, but if another man is holding the gun, it’s up to _them_ to shoot or not.”

“Disloyalty is a sin!” Ezor fired back.

“I’m sure that’s what they want you to believe. An empire can only exist for so long. If it is built in suffering and misery, when it falls, it crushes itself. We had an empire here on Earth called Rome. It reminds me quite a bit of your empire, what with the arena fights, advanced technology and military supremacy. It fell because of a combination of economic stagnation, slave revolts and military dissent. They ended up having their land split between the very barbarians they had been warring with for centuries.” Charlie shrugged. “You can’t keep it up forever. It’s ultimately up to you to decide where you will be when that day comes.”

“I won’t betray the empire,” Ezor murmured with conviction. “How can you be so _disloyal_?”

“I am loyal to certain people, until they give me a reason not to be. That’s not what I’m meaning to say. I’m trying to make a point here to you ladies. Loyalty isn’t the most important thing. If something is _wrong_ , meaning it’s causing hurt and misery, then it should be abandoned for something better. And if that better future is denied to you because it would be more _convenient_ if you stayed obedient? Take it by force, by whatever means necessary. Freedom from oppression and subjugation is worth the cost. A life systematically violating those you view as inferior is no life worth living.”

“And who are you to make that decision? What right do you have?”

Charlie chuckled. “Well, you got me there, honey. But let me ask you this-what right do _you_ have?” There was quiet on Ezor’s end, and Charles spoke after a moment. “Now I don’t know for sure _exactly_ what you’re doing out there in space, but I can figure out just as much from what you _don’t_ say as what you _do_. And y’all ladies are awful casual about things like racial genocide, the subjugation and oppression of a people and the widespread use of chemical weapons; so I’m guessing y’all do something involving those things?”

“As I told you, he’s very observant,” Acxa remarked dryly.

Charles raised an eyebrow. “Not so much observant as simply paying attention. Y’all give yourselves away with that attitude you got. Your focus on the police confirmed it. Anyways, my _point_ is that freedom is worth fighting for. You may not see any value attached to the lives of those you oppress, but they have the same ability to feel pain and love that you do. Well, actually, you might not-I’m not quite sure on that. I guess it’d be better phrased as those you oppress are actively suffering under your actions, and sooner or later, it’ll catch up to you.”

Silence stretched for a few beats before Ezor’s voice sounded again. “How did you meet Acxa?”

Charlie’s face stretched into an easy smile. “I first saw her at the races. That’s not how we met, though.”

“Races?” Ezor asked.

Acxa began to explain. “The Adrenaline Races. They’re motorcycle races with a cash prize. Some activity there is considered illegal-”

“Not really _some_ , honey, as much as _all_. It’s due to the vehicles not being up to regulation and uh...well people tend to die. I’ve never had a problem with it,” Charlie interjected.

“Regardless, I always win first place,” Acxa finished, a curl of pride to her tone.

“That she does. No one had ever seen her face-she just showed up, won and left every six months. We really met, though a few years ago-I was coming up along the interstate at about three, four o'clock in the morning. Acxa had crashed-I saw the bike first.”

“I collided with an animal called a buck,” Acxa said.

“I stopped, gave her a once-over. You were pretty banged up,” he said to his right before turning back to Ezor. “While inspecting her wounds, I saw her skin...so I figured a hospital was out. I was in my dad’s old car, so I put her and the bike in it and went back to my apartment where I stitched her up as best I could. I wasn’t sure that she wasn’t human until I took off her helmet and saw her ears. After that, I sat down and waited for her to wake up,” Charlie recalled.

“You stitched her up?” Ezor inquired.

Charlie nodded. “I don’t have any formal medical training, but my father was a doctor. I helped him out more often than not.”

“What happened next?”

“It took a couple hours, but she woke up. Started firing off questions immediately. I told her my name, the apartment address and gave her an unopened bottle of water,” Charlie continued. “She started to get up to leave, and I had to stop her-otherwise she would have ripped her stitches.”

“I didn’t trust him then,” Acxa added. “I had to stay resting for a few days in his apartment in order to heal enough to return to my bunker. We spoke a lot during this time, and I decided to take a risk and let him live.”

“She never put a gun to my head or nothing, but I could tell she was thinkin’ about making me disappear,” Charles acquiesced. “I talked to her, convinced her that having an ally might not be the worst of things.”

“After observing him thoroughly for some time, I concluded that he had not given me a reason to dispose of him. A few months after the fact, he disappeared for a week and a half. During this time, I decided to take advantage and I let myself into his apartment-”

“Of _course_ you did,” Charlie interrupted.

“I found some interesting things,” Acxa continued undeterred. “False papers in three different languages. Blueprints of an art gallery in Paris, two of banks in Dublin and Montreal, and several jewelry stores in Dubai. A box of keys for what I understood to be bank vaults. I’ll admit, I was...intrigued as to his connections and activities. As such I decided to get closer to him and see where it led me.”

“I had left for Dublin,” Charles said. “We had a job there. When I got back I noticed someone had _tampered with my shit_.” He turned towards Acxa. “I put some tech all around my apartment-little tools that work in a system. When you broke into my safe it took a picture and flagged it for me when I got back. Same with the chest, underneath the recliner, and the drawer underneath the oven.”

“What was in the compartment behind the fridge?” Acxa followed swiftly.

“That’s for me to know and you to wonder, baby doll,” Charlie drawled, earning a snort and most likely an eye roll from Acxa. He laughed in response.

“Have you taken Acxa along on a _job_ before?” Ezor asked, playful mockery in her tone at the term.

“Yeah. Twice-Dubai and Montreal,” Charles replied.

“It was _fun_ ,” Acxa insisted. “I understand what he means about the rush-it’s a lot like the feeling during an assignment.” Charlie grinned.

“When did you two get together?”

There was a pause. Acxa broke it. “A few months after Dubai, Charles received a text from a from an ex-girlfriend. At the time I thought nothing of it, but it ate at me. I felt angry. I waited for it to go away, but it was proving...difficult. After some introspection I realized the anger was directed at the idea of Charlie being with another woman. I had never really considered it before, but that was the first time I had heard of him being with anyone else. It upset me. I understood the feeling was not rational, but they so rarely are.”

“She confronted me, explained her emotions and what they were telling her. I was pretty damn happy to hear it. I’d felt an attraction toward her since I’d met her, but I never initiated anything because I expected to get a tooth knocked out for that kind of trouble. The feeling got stronger over time, between getting to know her and her breaking in and cracking my safe.” Charlie continued.

“You were more attracted to her because of the breaking in?” Ezor questioned, amusement clear in her tone.

He gave a broad grin. “Hell, yeah. I made it a real bitch to get into there-it speaks to a high skill level that she was able to make it in. Plus-” he leaned forward, a conspiratorial twinkle in his eye- “I like danger. Acxa is the kind of woman who could kick my ass. Makes things interesting.” A snort sounded from the right.

“Alright. Well, there’s one more thing I wanted to cover before we wrap up. You’ve been making sure Acxa has been able to blend in here on Earth?”

Charlie nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”

“And just how have you been doing that?”

“One of my crew is pretty damn great at falsifying papers, currency. He used to be a career bureaucrat, so he knows how to navigate the system. I introduced them. Besides that, I do the talking for her if things need a... _gentler_ touch.”

“So you’re a smooth-talker?” Ezor concluded, more of a statement than a question.

“I’m just good at getting people to do what I want with my words,” Charles said matter-of-factly. “People will let you know what makes them tick if you watch them for long enough; and a lot of people are similar. I just pay attention.”

“Anything else?” Ezor asked. A moment passed, perhaps seeking confirmation from Acxa. “Okay then. This concludes Interview #1. Thank you Charlie.” The man in question smiled and nodded. The video ended. Pidge clicked through a few folders until she came across a video titled _Keith Shifting-Conclusion_ . _Now comes the rough part_ , Pidge thought warily as she started playback.

The scene opened up in what looked like the same living room as the other video, the couch/end table setup located in the left of the shot. A television sat at the right of the room. Charlie was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed and a serious expression on his face. Acxa faced the camera, speaking with Ezor.

“I need you to stay where you are and get this on record,” she explained.

“Okay. What are you doing?”

Acxa bit her lip, taking a glance over at Charlie. She seemed nervous, a look that was unsettling on her. She spoke hesitantly. “We are going to fix a problem Keith has been having.”

“I don’t know the details of what this involves. I’m trusting Acxa,” Charles clarified.

“What’s the problem?” Ezor asked.

“It would be easier to show you. Charlie? Can you get him?” Charles nodded and left, shortly returning with Keith in his arms. He looked to be about three years old. _Man_ , Pidge thought, _he was a chubby little kid_.

“Watch this,” Charlie addressed Ezor before turning to Keith. “Look at your mother.” Keith did, and his skin started to _change_ , shifting in roving patterns from his normal pale shade to a lavender color. His canines elongated, pushing through his lips, and his nails turned dark, growing into wicked looking claws seated on his tiny fingers. “Look at me,” Charles said, Keith’s features shifting back into human dimensions.

“Woah. Is that your Altean blood?” Ezor questioned Acxa.

She nodded in confirmation. “It’s subconscious mimicry. My parents were the ones who taught me how to control it, but that was a long time ago. Our best hope is this.” She gestured to a case lying on the end table, opening it and pulling out a syringe filled a third of the way with luminous Quintessence. Turning to Charlie, she spoke. “This will stabilize his DNA. Get him ready.” He nodded, turning the television on to some sort of reality show.

“Look at the humans on the T.V.,” Charles encouraged baby Keith soothingly.

“Hold him,” Acxa ordered, hoisting the syringe. Charlie wrapped his arms around Keith’s shoulders, keeping him still. In one smooth motion Acxa injected Keith right into his spinal cord and drained the fluid. His eyes flashed a blinding purple for one terrifying second before he began to scream.

Acxa stepped back, watching him with a razor-sharp focus. Charles hoisted Keith, bouncing him gently in his arms and murmuring softly as he wailed. As the now-grown Keith watched, horror sunk to the pit of his stomach. Shiro’s earlier words echoed in his head as his own.

_What the hell did you do to me?_

Acxa stepped forward, taking her child’s face gingerly between her palms. She stroked it soothingly, a grin blooming across her face at the lack of bodily change. “It worked,” she stated, relief saturating her tone. At this, Charlie raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Acxa turned to Ezor. “You can shut that off now, thank you.” The video promptly ended.

It was so quiet in the Med Bay one could hear a pin drop. Pidge chanced a look at Keith’s face. Anger bloomed in her stomach at the mix of vulnerability and hurt shock present there.

Coran was the one to gently break the silence, doing so with a grace that spoke of his extensive experience. “Keith is most likely fine; however it wouldn’t hurt to give him a thorough check-up.”

“Are you okay, Keith?” Shiro asked bluntly, worry strong in his gaze. Regret was heavy in his mind at letting him be alone with Acxa. At the time, he was right about to go into surgery and he hadn’t wanted to deny Keith the answers he knew he craved, but now he felt he knew better. Acxa was dangerous, plain and simple, and he should not have exposed Keith to that. She was a special kind of sick, if this was what she considered to be one of her fondest memories.

Keith was quiet for a moment, startling when he realized he was being spoken to. He nodded jerkily but otherwise remained silent. It was evident to everyone that he had effectively shut down. Coran stepped forward, guiding him gently towards a private room in the Med Bay while Allura addressed the others.

“Well that was...unpleasant.” She turned to Pidge. “What else is on that flash drive?”

“I didn’t see anything else of strategic importance,” the Green Paladin answered.

“I’ll be the judge of that. You and I will review the rest together. Hunk, your task is to stay here with Shiro and monitor his condition. Contact myself or Coran if anything changes.”

“Princess-” Shiro began to argue.

“You must rest,” Allura said firmly yet not unkindly. “We need you in fighting condition sooner rather than later. Lance-your task is to keep an eye on Keith. I have a feeling he won’t take this news in the healthiest of ways.”

Normally Lance would have protested at least a little, but given recent events he only nodded in assent. While he put on a loud show about their ‘rivalry,’ he cared about Keith. The team was basically his family now; and although he couldn’t ever really imagine Keith as a brother, he didn’t have to fake the pit of dread and worry present in his stomach over the state of the Red Paladin. He might occasionally be a jackass but no one deserved _this_ dumped on them in the manner which it had been.

With a tired sigh, Allura dismissed her Paladins. Lance stayed where he was with Shiro and Hunk. They were all too shell-shocked to make conversation, settling instead for quiet companionship. Lance’s thoughts buzzed with his worry for Keith, trying his best to settle his breathing and hopefully his mind.

* * *

 

On Lotor’s base on Seriv, Acxa approached the throne and kneeled silently. The flash drive containing the information she had taken from Bakil was clenched in her fist.

“Rise,” Lotor said leisurely. She obeyed, the movement fluid. There was a pause as she waited for him to address her properly. “You were successful, I take it?”

She nodded, holding out the flash drive. One of the guards on either side of Lotor’s throne retrieved it from her, handing it to Lotor. He twirled it idly in his fingers. “What did you find?”

“It seems our assault on the Qikadian Stretch has been more successful than we thought, my lord. If we increase our forces there, we can take it and start carving our way into Thurukian space.”

Lotor’s resulting smile was broad. “Excellent work. I knew you would not fail me.”

“There is something else you should know, my lord. The Thururks have forged an alliance with the Scavs.”

Lotor’s lips curled into a snarl. “Those barbarians. What could they be plotting?” He sighed, cracking his neck. “The time has not yet come for an assault on the Outer Reaches, but their influence can not be allowed to spread. We will contain them until we are ready to deal with them. Good find, my beloved Acxa. You are dismissed.”

With a nod, she turned on her heel and left the throne room, legs taking a route so familiar to her she didn’t need to devote any thought to it. The base was beautiful, the interior comprised solely of shades of purple, blue, black and red. It was soothing, in a strange way, to be surrounded by the colors that covered her as well. She entered her chambers, stripping out of her battle uniform and showering promptly with cold water. As she exited the shower, a memory passed leisurely through her mind; Charlie with his eyes wide in mock alarm, asking how the _hell_ she could tolerate cold showers.

_“For Christ’s sake, how the hell can you stand that?”_

_“What do you mean? It’s comfortable.”_

_He had smiled, sly in the way that let her know he’d thought of something clever to say. “That’s ‘cause you're cold-blooded, baby. Like a snake.”_

She blinked, a warm feeling of contentment briefly being washing over her before being replaced with a sinking sadness. She missed her lover and their child, missed the home they’d made in the sea of sand on Earth. Texas, it was called-land of the baking yellow sun and flooding monsoons. At least, that’s how she remembered it. She rubbed her eyes, letting her mind process the the events of the last thirty vargas. Her mission concerning the Paladins was successful, all things considered. When she boarded she wasn’t entirely sure she would be allowed to leave. The two males she spoken with-the Altean and the Champion-seemed eager enough to take her information, and from their work with the Blade and beyond they had proven themselves to be at least somewhat capable. Acxa had received no orders to contact Voltron from the Blade, but after their near annihilation she doubted they would send her anything ever again. In truth, the visit was to see her son. She had been unable to keep his face out of her mind for very long after their confrontation, depending on the thrill of a mission or strenuous training to keep her mind clear. Acxa had often thought of the family she left on Earth, the separation easier to swallow as time passed. She’d consoled herself with the knowledge that Charlie would protect Keith, but now she knew better-Charles had died a few months after she had left and her son had grown up alone without any memory of his parents. Or perhaps just his conscious memory, if his outburst was anything to go by. His voice played through her mind, the way he’d screamed _you were supposed to come back_ sending another stab of guilt through her. Acxa remembered the feeling that’d spread through her body when she’d held him. Traces of it still lingered on her skin. She loved him. She always had, ever since the moment she’d first held him in her arms. Acxa wished he believed her when she’d told him; she supposed that would be an honor she would have to earn. Considering what he knew about her, she wasn’t surprised. Abandonment didn’t exactly suggest undying love.

Acxa remembered the flash drive she’d given them, her only copy. She wondered if the others would bother to show him the more happy memories on the drive or just a snapshot of some of the more...questionable choices she’d made.

It was in her quarters, cloaked in darkness and solitude, that she allowed herself to mourn the home she no longer had. She considered what to do next.

* * *

 

One of the best things about Keith, in Lance’s mind, was his predictability. Immediately after his exam was over, he’d leapt up from the cot where he had been seated and sprinted towards the training room where he’d promptly started trying to train himself into a coma. Lance had followed quietly behind him carrying a handful of hydration pouches he’d taken from the Med Bay, and was currently sitting on the training room floor. He’d decided to let Keith train some of the edge off before trying to talk to him. The Red Paladin was about to start his ninth attempt on Level 6 before Lance spoke.

“None of us think any less of you, y’know,” Lance said.

Keith froze. After a moment he turned to Lance, the movement stilted. “Thanks,” he replied gruffly before throwing himself back at the Gladiator.

On the sixteenth attempt he beat the level, stalking over to where Lance sat, scooping up a hydration pouch and downing it in one go. He sat down roughly, breathing deeply. It was a moment before he spoke. “Why did you defend her?”

Lance blinked for a moment, trying to figure out what he meant. Keith beat him to it. “At the briefing. You defended...my mother, even after what she did to Shiro. Why?”

Lance licked his lips, making an effort to pick the right words. “I said what I thought. I mean yeah, she’s pretty scary, but I don’t think she’s a liar. She wasn’t as nice as she could have been about it, but she _did_ give us some information that we needed.” Lance looked at Keith carefully, wondering if he should ask the flood of questions he had over their conversation. As if he read his mind ( _he probably could, weren’t Alteans telepathic?_ ) Keith prodded him. “Go on, ask. You clearly want to say something.”

“How did it go? Talking to her, I mean.” Keith was quiet, and Lance met his gaze evenly.

“It was fine. We...talked, and she said all this stuff. Had a good reason for leaving me, I guess. I kinda...lost it for a sec there.” Lance’s gut twisted at Keith’s self-deprecating tone. A desire to change it washed through him, but this wasn’t an easy fix by _any_ stretch of the imagination.

“I would too, if I was in that situation,” Lance stated cooly. He could feel Keith’s intense gaze on him. “I would feel like I was owed some answers, at the very least.”

“...yeah,” Keith murmured. It was quiet for a moment before Lance continued.

“Do you feel better about things, now that you know about your parents?”

“I’m not sure,” the Red Paladin answered bluntly.

Lance gave a small smile that was meant to be assuring. “That’s okay, man. It’s hard to process. I just want to let you know that I’m here if you need to talk, alright? I’ve been told I’m good at that.”

Keith was quiet for a moment, so long that Lance was briefly surprised when he started speaking. “...I knew my father was dead. He died in a car crash-the social worker told me when she dropped me off at the orphanage. When I was in foster care, I used to dream about my mother coming back...I realized it was never gonna happen, and I let that dream go. And now...I don’t know what to think. It feels _disconnected_ somehow; like it’s happening to someone else. I thought I would be happier, but…I don’t know.”

“The whole thing was pretty fucked,” Lance said agreeably.

Keith smirked slightly. “Yeah, it was. Honestly, right now I just want to distract myself.”

“I totally get you, dude. Spar with me?” Lance stood up, holding out his hand.

“Sure.” Keith’s quirk of lips blossomed into a grin as he accepted the Blue Paladin’s outstretched hand. Rising to his feet, he crouched in a defensive position, easily losing himself to the push and pull of the fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am physically incapable of writing more fluff than angst I guess.
> 
> Charlie holding Keith up with the smear of paint on his head is a reference to the Lion King. His middle name 'Minseok' is the name of Xiumin from EXO.
> 
> I'm aware that, in the way I've written this, I've made Acxa and Charlie look kinda bad. This is due to the POV style of my writing (since the POVs are mostly Keith and Pidge-the most suspicious Paladins-this chapter reflects that). I want to stress that neither of Keith's parents treated him maliciously; and that also, he doesn't know that yet. Regarding Charlie: it is important to note that the cause for taking a life was for the protection of another. His character layout is 'smooth-talking con man with a heart of gold.' I wanted to flush out the backstory of his parents meeting, due to how little the canon actually gives us (there is more to the story, but that will come later ;) ) Regarding Acxa: while she is a total BAMF whose emotional capability has been changed via the Druids, this does not mean she cannot feel -any- emotions. She misses her family dearly; however, she doesn't let this stop her. She's got shit to do.
> 
> (This fic will not contain plot references to season 4)


	4. I Knew (Still Would Rather Save You)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Lance are assigned to a mission on a Druid ship. Little do they know how things will turn out...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings that apply in this chapter: brief self-hatred and internalized homophobia; canon typical violence.

FOUR QUINTENTS LATER

 

Keith lay alone in his bed, staring at the ceiling. The digital clock Pidge had given him read 4:30am. He scrunched his eyes closed, pleading his mind to just let him sleep, but no relief came. His brain felt like a live wire. He groaned into his pillow, frustration mingling with the restless feeling in his muscles and bones.

 _Fuck it_ , he growled internally, launching himself up out of his bed and making a beeline for the Training Room-the more intense the session, the more the edge wore off. Lately, the Red Paladin’s thoughts had become snarled and convoluted, a hornet’s nest of confusion and anger directed inward. He still wasn’t sure how to process his new knowledge of his parents. The previously empty void in his understanding of them had been filled-his mother being a Marmoran spy, undercover as a high-level general for the most destructive, genocidal empire in the whole universe, and his father a smooth-talking heistman who beat a man to death. Keith wasn’t quite sure whether or not he preferred ignorance to the truth. They had seemed to care about him, at least. Allura had pulled him aside away from the other Paladins to show him some of the happier moments they’d had, but the Princess still refused to hand him the flash drive in its entirety. Most likely, that meant she was trying to protect him from something _else_ on the drive, and _Christ, what the fuck else could be on that thing?_ Keith’s feelings on his mother were complicated, to say the least. Did she think she was doing him a favor, letting him know who she was? Who his father was? Did that mean he was like them? What was he thinking, _of course_ he was. He was _worse._ He couldn’t control himself, his wild impulses were so... _convincing_ , so _viciously right_. The Red Paladin’s father killed a man at nineteen-by comparison, Keith was eighteen, and had killed...hundreds? Thousands? If the spirit of fairness, though, so had his fellow Paladins. None of them could bring themselves to keep a count, and those blown-up ships significantly contributed to the bodies left behind.

Some of them were still children, after all.

Gritting his teeth at the onslaught of bitter thoughts his mind was too exhausted to hold back, Keith threw himself at the Gladiator. He had mainly relied on training to keep his thoughts at bay, always keeping himself busy. Lance kept telling him over and over that if he needed to talk, he’d listen. Little did he know that was the last thing Keith wanted to do.

Keith’s thoughts wandered even further to the Blue Paladin. He cared for the Cuban boy, a lot more than most people would suspect. Keith tended to keep all deep emotional feelings locked in a box at the back of his mind, although he did peek inside every so often. And yes, he knew his feelings were more than strictly friendly when it came to Lance. It wasn’t just his appearance that drew Keith’s interest (although that certainly didn’t hurt; _goddamn_ , the kid was gorgeous); it was who he was as a person. Sure, sometimes Lance could be an annoying jackass-they _all_ could be-but mostly Lance was caring. Compassionate. He always saw the best in people, a trait that had shone yet again with the arrival of Acxa. The Blue Paladin was also good with words-everything Keith was not. As the time dragged on, Lance had mostly forgotten the whole ‘rival’ thing-mentioned in words only-and they had gotten closer. They were friends now. The term felt wrong to Keith, although he had no good reason for why. Just friends with Lance was great, and honestly much more than he deserved to have. It wasn’t Lance’s fault Keith was so damn _greedy_.

 _You’d be wrong to ask for more, to take advantage of him like that._ Keith gritted his teeth against the stab of self hatred, launching himself forward at the gladiator once more. _He’s never shown any interest in men. Besides, he deserves more than the galactic ton of emotional baggage you drag around with you, pathetic-_

Keith’s thoughts were cut to an abrupt halt as the gladiator gained the upper hand, slamming his head into the ground. His ears rung with the blow, line of sight wavering for a moment. On instinct, he raised his shield, blocking the robot’s next impact as he waited for his vision to refocus.

“End training session.” Shiro’s voice cut firmly through the air. Surprise flared on Keith’s face for a moment as he brought himself to his feet.

“Shiro! You’re out?”

The older man nodded. “Light duties only, but I’ve been let out of bed rest.”

Keith smiled, walking over to Shiro and leaning his weight on the wall. His head throbbed from the droid. He’d ask Shiro what he was doing up so late, but the Red Paladin knew the answer was either _had a nightmare_ or _hadn’t gotten to sleep since the last 24 vargas_.

“You okay? Your head bounced pretty hard there,” Shiro inquired quietly.

Keith gave a thumbs up as to not aggravate his head. “I’ll be fine.”

“...alright. If it gets worse, get yourself to the Med Bay. As for now, you should probably stop training.” Keith groaned-there was no way in hell he was calm enough to sleep yet. Shiro raised an eyebrow. “Is that a problem?”

“No...I just was trying to take the edge off, y’know?”

Shiro nodded, the urge all too familiar to him. “I’ll sit with you, if that would help.” Keith slid down to the floor, the older man copying the motion. They sat in comfortable silence for a while, Keith’s breathing slowly evening out.

“...do you want to talk about it?” Shiro asked.

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?”

“They’re trying to show you sympathy,” the older man answered with a smile. “They’re trying to let you know that you are not alone, that they care about your wellbeing. It’s meant to be seen as an act of kindness.”

Keith huffed. “Talking about it just makes me feel worse. It’s the last thing I want to do.”

“That’s because you keep boxing up your emotions. Which you already know isn’t healthy,” Shiro countered lightly.

“I know...it’s just...so damn _hard_ to let myself feel it. It hurts, and I don’t _have_ to feel it-”

“The damage you will do to yourself will far outweigh that pain. Keith-” Shiro placed his hand on the Red Paladin’s shoulder- “You need to let it in at some point.”

Keith worried at his bottom lip. His stomach twisted with anxiety at the prospect. He knew Shiro was right, however. He already had difficulty connecting with others, possibly due to a combination of isolation and bottling up emotions.

“I know,” he murmured softly.

Shiro decided to leave it be for the moment and let his hand fall. He felt that pursuing it farther would risk pushing his luck, so he switched to a different topic. “How have the others been doing?”

“Pidge is okay, considering. She’s been looking for a map of the Outer Reaches from a different source to compare it to the one that, uh...Acxa gave us.” Keith swallowed hard, pushing on. “We agreed to wait for your opinion on that before she went off, though. Hunk and Lance have been trying to make it easier on everybody, talking people down if they need it. Hunk said he was gonna make something special when you got let out of bed rest.” At this, Shiro smiled. “Allura has been somewhat affected by it. She seems deep in thought all the time. When she talks to us she seems distracted. Is she the one who gave you the okay?”

“No, that was Coran. I asked him to let me know as soon as possible. I haven’t been getting to sleep that well, staying down like that,” Shiro answered mildly.

“Well in that case, I think you should talk to her. Let her know you're up to speed and all that. Coran’s fine but he’s acting a bit different. I think what’s happened recently is bringing up some memories for him.”

“His family served the Altean royal line for generations-he’s most likely got some kind of experience with spies.”

“Especially Galran ones,” the Red Paladin added.

Shiro gave him a look. “That’s true, but Keith-”

“It’s literally my mother we’re talking about here.”

“That doesn’t mean that we trust you any less than we did before. What happened was...a _lot_ . It gives us some pause. I don’t trust her, Keith, but I trust you with my life. We _all_ do.”

With those words, Keith felt himself relax just a bit. The sense of relief was welcome. “How are you holding up?”

Shiro blinked. “Oh. It’s been...rough.” He gave a mirthless, breathy laugh. “I’ll be fine. It’s just...every time I think that I’ve finally gotten back control of myself…”

Keith nodded. Shiro had been through his own personal purple hell, a nightmare that sunk its claws into him and chased him across the stars.

“I don’t see you as one of them, Keith. I need you to know that. Just because you’re Galra-”

“I know, Shiro. I know. Besides, it’s not like I was personally involved in what happened to you. If I was, I’d probably be dead, huh?”

It was quiet for a moment before Shiro responded. “Yeah,” he whispered calmly. “You probably would be.”

* * *

 

Keith had been unable to get to sleep before the next day-cycle had officially started. He went to Pidge for some relief, who had handed him a mug of extra-strength alien ‘coffee’ without a word. He nursed it gratefully. For a solid half-varga they sat together in near silence, the only sounds being Pidge typing speedily and the occasional click of her mouse.

Pidge pushed her laptop to the side with a groan, removing her glasses and rubbing her eyes. She turned to Keith, who had raised an eyebrow at the noise.

“Feeling better, edgelord?” She asked teasingly. He nodded. “Good.”

“How’s it comin’?” Keith inquired, gesturing to the laptop.

“Nothing to do now but wait for the programs to run.” The Green Paladin sighed, turning over and rummaging through her pack. She pulled out a small device, handing it to Keith. “This will be useful for the mission later. It’s a tracking device-in case something happens and we need to find you.”

Keith pocketed the device. “Mission?”

“Yeah. Allura found a ship with intel we can use to check against your mother’s info.” She raised an eyebrow at the way Keith flinched slightly. “Chill, bro. I’m not attacking you.”

“I get that,” he snapped back.

“And I know you understand that by the way you’re super defensive about it,” she countered dryly. She pushed her glasses up her nose. “Look. It’s fucked up but that’s okay. A lot of things are. I’m not gonna pretend like this whole experience has brought any of us joy, but it’s not the end of everything either. We still trust you and all that good stuff. Though I imagine the others have told you that enough that you’re sick to death of hearing it.” Keith smirked slightly in conformation. Pidge continued. “So when I bring up your mom, I’m not trying to say that you’re suspicious or whatever, but it _does_ have strategic significance. We can’t pretend that this isn’t happening, because it is. That’s part of the reason we're trying to confirm the intel she gave us. Don’t get me wrong Keith, I’d _like_ to think she’s trustworthy, but her actions haven’t exactly confirmed that. But if the intel she gave us _is_ accurate, then this could really help us out.”

“You’re talking about your family?”

“I’m talking about a lot of things, dude-although that is apart of it.” The Green Paladin shrugged. “I just don’t want you to get defensive and shut down when she’s mentioned at all, because she probably will be. Plus, it’s important. You should be paying attention, even though it’s hard.”

“Do you think I’m like her?” Keith asked quietly. He knew for sure Pidge would be honest with him.

“A little. I guess it clears things up as to why you’re not that great with talking to people. Honestly, you seem a bit more like your father. The best way I can say it is that you ‘ve got your mother’s logical compulsion and your dad’s emotionality. I should add that you’re your own person too though, so don’t take it too seriously.”

Keith paused for a moment, considering. “...thanks. That helps.”

“Not a problem, Keith. It’s chill.”

“You sound like Lance,” he observed dryly. At this, Pidge shrugged. “Been around him for long enough, I guess.”

“Did you know him well in the Garrison?” Keith queried. He belatedly realized that he had never really asked about their lives during that time, partially due to Lance’s recognition of him.

“Pretty well, yeah. Hunk too. We were part of a unit-I was the tech guy, Hunk was the engineer and Lance was the pilot. Lance met Hunk before I got there, and they were nice enough. We hung out sometimes. They were fun, but I was more focused on finding out whatever I could on the Kerberos Mission.”

“I tried that, but I got kicked out before I got anywhere.”

“For punching Iverson in the face.” She grinned. “Yeah, I know. I looked up your file. Kudos to you on that one-I bet it felt good.”

“It did. I used to think that it wasn’t worth it, but…” He trailed off, gesturing to all around him. “This is better than Earth was for me. I, uh...I don’t know what I’ll do if we get back.”

Pidge blinked. “I don’t really know either. Either way, I have to find Matt and Dad first.”

Keith nodded. “We’ll help you find them.”

“Getting a check against your mother’s map is the best place to go from here,” the Green Paladin concluded. She watched him for a reaction, satisfaction creeping through her when he still stayed relaxed.

“I agree. I’m sure Shiro does too.”

“Yeah...he was always friendly with my father, but I know he actually misses Matt. It’ll be good to see them again, for both of us.”

“Matt was pretty cool,” Keith murmured in agreement.

Pidge’s eyebrows shot up. “You knew him?”

“Sort of. Shiro introduced us and we hung out together a handful of times. He was always nice, but...I could tell he was up to something. Scheming.”

Pidge nodded, grinning broadly. “Yeah. We’re a lot alike in that way. It’s funny, ‘cause both of our parents are pretty mild. But Matt and I, we were partners in crime.”

“Really?” Keith asked.

“Well not like your dad or anything. But we did stuff together. Fighting for the chaotic good…” She trailed off, her smile fading slightly. Her mind was focused elsewhere, it seemed. Keith sincerely hoped that both her father and brother were alive; that the universe wouldn’t be as cruel as it could be to her.

A knock startled them both out of their thoughts. Shiro stood in the doorway of the kitchen, a small smile on his face as he approached them.

“How are my favorite nerds?” He asked light-heartedly.

Pidge snorted, getting up to hug the older man as he approached. Keith smiled and waved but otherwise said nothing.

“We’re fine,” the Green Paladin answered him. “Keith came down for the hook-up.”

“Hook-up?” Shiro asked, eyebrows raising in mock alarm at the term.

“Mmhmm.” Pidge peeled herself away from Shiro, gesturing with a crooked finger. “You want one too?”

“That would be great Pidge, thanks.” The Green Paladin poured him a cup of the energetic alien substance while also topping hers and Keith’s off, handing back the receptive cups with a smirk on her face. Shiro and Keith would visit her often enough in the wee hours of the day-cycle that she knew what they were _really_ looking for-the hot alien drink with sweet, sweet caffeine.

“What is this stuff again?” Shiro asked after taking a long sip.

“I’m not sure where it comes from. I found it in one of the storage rooms-there’s a lot of cool shit in there, you guys should check it out-”

“Langu-”

“So I can be a child soldier but I can’t cuss?” Pidge countered.

Shiro sighed. “It’s just easier to not make it a habit if you don’t say it often.”

“Coran says ‘quiznak’ all the time,” Keith added.

“We don’t know what that really means,” Shiro argued half-heartedly.

“It means ‘fuck,’” Pidge said with a grin.

“We don’t _really_ know-”

“It’s definitely ‘fuck,’” Keith agreed.

Shiro sighed again, for longer this time. “...it probably is,” he relented.

The three Paladins drank the rest of their beverages in relative silence. When they were finished, on Shiro’s insistence, they went down to the Training Room to sneak in some extra training before breakfast.

* * *

 

Lance wandered down the hallway, his mind otherwise occupied as his legs carried him throughout the Castle. His thoughts were of Earth, the memories of his time there trapped in a bittersweet cloud. In his more cynical moments he considered the possibility that he would never return home as he longed to; that he would die out here, so far away from his family, his true fate unknown to them. In his lighter moments, he considered the stories he would have to tell them. Right now, he cycled through the important information from his home he was no longer connected to-the way the ocean almost always retained its brilliant blue, even as dark stormclouds crept forward; the lilt of his mother tongue, something he’d tried so hard to hide at the Garrison; the birthdates-and faces-of his family. The thought occurred to him then that they had no real idea how long it had been since they left Earth. He pushed it to the back of his mind with a stab of anxiety, as there wasn’t much that could be done about that.

As he passed the Med Bay, he noticed the lights still on. Curious, he stepped inside. Coran was there, appearing to be tidying up. Shiro was nowhere to be seen.

“How’s my favorite Altean doing?” Lance called out. Coran paused in his movement, turning around quickly. His face lit up when he saw the Blue Paladin.

“Lance! It’s good to see you, boy. What are you doing awake?”

The Blue Paladin shrugged. “Can’t sleep. What about you?”

“I think we still have some sleep aides somewhere around here…” The older man scratched his head, glancing around at his surroundings with an alarming speed.

Lance came closer, lightly touching his arm to get his attention. “I appreciate it, but I’m okay.”

“You’re sure?”

Lance smiled, noting how Coran still had not answered his question. “Very. Could you use any help around here?”

“Uh...no. Nope. I finished all the tidying up a few vargas ago. You’re welcome to stay, though, if you want to.”

Which meant that he was working on something. Well then-consider Lance’s curiosity peaked. “Whatcha working on?”

Coran gestured for him to come closer. Upon doing so, Lance could see Shiro’s brain chip hooked up to some kind of scanner. Confusion shot through the Blue Paladin. Seeing the look on his face, Coran explained. “The design on this little thing is very unique. Shiro made it clear that he didn’t want it, so I decided to take a peek at its inner workings.” He sighed heavily. “It’s a brilliant design, used for such a savage purpose. This could be used medicinally, if there was a need for balancing hormones in the brain. Instead, it was used to turn our friend into a weapon. Since we’ve...woken up, I’ve noticed this kind of tactic repeatedly in the Galra strategy-and it seems Haggar-and the Druids-are at the root of it.”

“Did you ever meet her? Haggar, I mean.”

Coran paused, his eyes focusing on a point beyond Lance’s shoulder for the briefest moment. “A few times, yes-before. She was a brilliant woman. It’s a shame what she’s become.” The Altean was quiet for a few ticks before he resumed speaking. “I think that this chip might be some other kind of tech. It’s design is different than that of traditional Galran.”

Lance’s brow furrowed as he considered. “Druid, maybe?”

“It’s possible. The Druids are...something new. I don’t know what their origins are. They could be Galran, or it could be some kind of alliance? Whatever it is, it will be useful to know. It is best to be well informed when dealing with the enemy.”

That reminded Lance of something. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Of course.”

“Before you guys ended up here-did you ever do anything with spies?” At this, Coran raised an eyebrow. Lance rushed to explain. “I was just thinking, because when Keith’s mom came here, you talked with her instead of Allura-and like, Shiro I can understand, because he’s got experience with them and all that not-so-fun stuff. But Allura has that experience too, so I was wondering if there was a reason that she wasn’t in there. Besides her possibly being a threat, which really now that I think about it that makes more sense. But if you had more experience in the spy department that would make more sense too. I can’t really imagine Allura as a spy, I mean she’s totally amazing at almost everything, but being spy-like and serious isn’t really one of them, you get what I’m saying?”

Coran waited for him to finish before responding. “There were a few times I did have some dealings with spies before the fall of Altea. The ones I came in contact with were under Altean allegiance.”

“They worked for you?”

“For the Crown. I was not the Spymaster, but as one of the King’s advisors I had some interactions with them. In the end experience with the Galra was the reason I was there.”

“So...do you think that Acxa is genuine? Can we trust her?”

“If she is who she says she is, she’s our ally,” Coran answered cautiously. “Even if-and it’s a big _if_ -she’s renounced the ways of the Blade, nothing will change the fact that she is Keith’s mother. I feel we should act with that in our minds when we deal with her. My real worry is her effect on Keith.”

“You’re worried that she’s gonna mess with him?”

“Not consciously, but yes. I’ve noticed a change in his behavior since the whole incident. He seems more...subdued.”

Lance was quiet for a moment, mulling over the Altean’s words. “I’ve noticed that too. He’s a lot quieter than usual.”

Coran chuckled dryly. “It’s a lot to take in. I hope he doesn’t start doubting himself as a result of all this.” The older man met Lance’s gaze directly. “He listens to you, more than the rest of us. Keep an eye on him for me, will you?”

“Already on it,” the Blue Paladin replied earnestly. He was always willing to help people-it was one of the reasons that he was Coran’s favorite.

“Good man.” Coran cycled through the list he’d made of the tests he wanted to conduct on the chip. With Lance’s help, they were able to complete all of them before the bell for the beginning of the day-cycle rang.

* * *

 

The mission briefing took place after breakfast. Allura explained the mission-infiltrate the ship, copy the relevant data, leave as quickly as possible. Nothing they hadn’t done several times before. During the meeting, however, something ate at Keith, his stomach twisting with a sharp edge of fear that he tried to push to the back of his mind.

They'd-or rather, Allura, Coran and the Castle-had spent twenty six quintents tracking a Druid research vessel that was pushing past the edges of Galran territory. It was small; about half the size of other warships, always being deployed on its own. The Castle's scans showed large amounts of Quintessence on board, and intel from other missions confirmed its presence at Rak’Tur, one of the largest Galran settlements, which was believed to house a prominent Druid laboratory. At the moment, the ship was cruising through a particularly empty pocket of space, with the nearest star system (listed in the Castle charts as Jythian SL74) 62 parsecs away.  
  
“Here’s the plan,” Allura began. “Keith and Lance will board one of the stealth pods in order to infiltrate the ship. Hunk, Pidge and I will wait here, functioning as your backup if needed.”

"It will be quite the distance to travel in between!" Coran interjected. "So you'll have to try not get caught. Should be a good challenge for you!" He twirled his moustache, confidence written in his features.

“Sounds like a piece of cake,” Lance said easily. Keith’s brow furrowed. As he looked around, he could see that Hunk, Pidge and Lance were relaxed, seemingly letting their guard down at the promise of an easy mission. Shiro and the Alteans seemed tense, however. Keith’s feeling of uneasiness increased, although he couldn’t pinpoint a reason for why.

“We have identified the ship as a Druid research vessel, which means the probability of some being on the ship is high,” Shiro added. “Trust me when I say that the best course of action if you see them is avoidance. _Do not_ engage. You may have faced them before, but you _cannot_ afford to get cocky. If they see you, run.”

“This mission has the potential to be very risky. You must be cautious.” Allura stressed.

“These things can change your perceptions of things. They can cause you to hallucinate. They can change form. They can look inside your mind, show you your deepest fears.” Shiro looked pale and his eyes distant, no doubt remembering some of his torture at their hands. “Be on your guard, and whatever you do, _do not_ split up.””

“No pressure or anything,” Hunk murmured quietly.

“I am...hesitant to do this. The only reason it has come to fruition now is due to the new information we have been given. It will allow us an insight into how the Druids operate, as well as provide us with a control to use against the map of Galran space recently given to us. Don’t waste any more time than strictly necessary. Are you two clear?” Allura asked, regarding Keith and Lance. The two boys nodded, and she smiled softly in response. “Good.”

“Just plug this in,” Pidge said, sliding a flash drive over to the two. “I worked my magic on this thing. It’ll take a copy of the system.” Lance pocketed the device.

“Stay focused. If you can do that, you’ve got this,” Shiro said.

Lance gave a mock salute. “Yes, sir!” Pidge rolled her eyes. Keith’s gut tightened again, and he pushed the feeling down as quick as he could.

_There’s no reason to get nervous. Nothing we haven’t done several times before. The rest of the team will be in reach. It’ll be fine. It’ll all be fine._

* * *

 

They landed on the underside of the ship; the stealth pods reading it to be isolated. Keith pried a panel open with his bayard and hauled Lance up inside. Keith glanced at his surroundings. They were in an isolated area, what appeared to be a storage unit with a sealed door. Taking a moment to make sure that they were both ready, the two Paladins opened the door and passed into the space outside, sealing it behind them as they did so.

The new hallway was long and winding, awash in a nauseatingly bright purple light. The walls were devoid of any identifying markings. With Shiro’s reminder to stick together fresh in their minds, the two paladins crept along, with Keith taking the forward position and Lance at the rear. The Blue Paladin strained his hearing for any signs of life beyond the gentle hum of the ship and their own moments, but he heard nothing. They pushed forward. The walls surrounding them looked as if they were twisting, shades of purple light distorting and flickering before returning back to its previous state. Lance blinked hard and refocused his eyes on the back of Keith’s neck-strands of that godawful mullet peeking through his helmet-and said Paladin continued. Eventually they came across a flight of stairs. Still not seeing any signs of life, the two scaled the steps. They entered into an open space, small books and what looked like markers scattered carelessly across the floor. The two Paladins stopped, exchanging a brief glance before continuing forward.

Keith’s sense of dread kept increasing the longer they were on the ship without running into any life form, Druid or otherwise. He gritted his teeth, swallowing hard to try and combat the pit growing in his stomach. Thirty ticks later, they arrived at a row of computers. Lance inserted Pidge’s drive, her program initializing quickly. Keith watched the entrance as the scan loaded, anticipation nearing a razor’s edge.

 _This is too easy_.

“Hey,” Lance said softly, interrupting Keith’s focus. He gestured at the entrance with his head. “It’s done. You ready?”

Keith blinked in surprise. He glanced at the computer-the drive was removed, the download completed.

“You okay?” Lance asked, his eyes shining with concern.

Keith nodded, shaking himself. The two resumed formation, exiting out from whence they came. A shadow out of the corner of Keith’s eye shifted, but before he could face it, a savage pain tore into his lower back-a pain he knew from experience could only be a Galra bullet. The force of it slammed his body into the ground, causing him to cry out. Keith heard Lance yell something, anger tinting his words. The sound of his bayard firing pierced the air before Keith was being hauled up by the Blue Paladin. The Cuban boy’s eyes were wide, worry painting his face.

“We gotta go,” he murmured, almost to himself. They started to run.

* * *

 

Shiro, Pidge, Allura, Hunk and Coran stood at the helm of the Castle Bridge, watching the Druid ship-at this distance, merely a speck on the screen-and watched. They had been waiting for half a varga, the atmosphere almost suffocatingly still as they waited for any sign that their help was needed. Keith’s sudden scream pierced the comms, causing panic to spike in Shiro’s throat. He called out for either of the two to respond, Allura’s voice entangling with his. After a moment Lance answered.

“Keith’s been hit! They saw us-we gotta go now!”

“To the Lions!” Allura exclaimed. As the Paladins scrambled to their positions, the Castle system blared an alarm, large Altean text urgently displayed.

“The ship’s about to warp!” Coran yelled in surprise, scrambling desperately to track the ship’s coordinates. A large purple circle opened up in front of the ship. As soon as it appeared, it was gone, leaving behind nothing but empty space.

* * *

 

The ship had flooded with Galra soldiers and sentries. In addition, seventeen Druids had been spotted. The Paladins’ only saving grace was the intricacy of the many passageways laid throughout the ship. It reminded Lance of a spiderweb, a metaphor made clearer with the way the walls distorted the light shone upon them.

Keith’s wound was steadily bleeding. He was able to hold himself up and move quickly, although he had a pronounced limp and was gnashing his teeth through the pain. On several different occasions, they had come across a stretch of clear material showing the space surrounding the ship-wormholes opening and closing with rapid speed, stars smearing their light and stabilizing. Keith counted five jumps per dobash, and he realized numbly that the Castle wouldn’t be able to track them at this speed. He remembered then the tracking device Pidge had given him earlier, but until the ship stopped for long enough for the others to disable it, they were on their own.

At the moment, the two Paladins had once again been spotted. They were running, pursued from behind. Lance sniped three of the charging soldiers, aiming for the shoulders first as to disrupt their firing capacity and fatal areas second to stop their pursuit entirely. A Druid was among them, seemingly dissolving and then reappearing in a different place. As a shot whizzed past his ear he turned, firing successfully at the sender. At that moment the Druid appeared behind him, sending a wicked bolt of lightning through his right shoulder. His vision turned white, his muscles screaming and locking up. The air caught in his throat, leaving him unable to breathe. The floor came at him quickly, sending him sprawling against the floor. Keith gave a cry of rage, slicing his bayard clean through the Druid. Blood gushed out and the Druid fell to the ground in two separate pieces.

“Lance!” Keith cried out, dropping to where the Blue Paladin lay. Lance moaned softly. Relief spread through Keith, lessening the throbbing pain in his back. Lance was _alive_.  

Pulling the Blue Paladin to his feet, Keith took stock of his surroundings. Further down the hall he saw an open door, small ships locked into place against a wall- _escape pods_. Another wave of relief pushed through Keith as they rushed towards them. As they got closer, it was clear to Keith that they were single-use only. Acting on instinct, he opened the hatch up and more or less shoved Lance inside. A piercing shriek echoed in the hallway, followed by the sound of heavy footsteps and rapid-fire commands in Galran. Fear gripped Keith at how close the sound was.

He knew that he wouldn’t have enough time to save himself, but he could get Lance out in the precious few moments he had left. Lance’s eyes widened and he started to struggle, trying to push himself out of the pod. Time seemed to slow, and Keith looked-really _looked_ -at the Blue Paladin. Even with his face twisted with the stubborn urge to defend his fellow Paladin, his blue eyes alight with panic, he was _beautiful_. His soul shone with a warmth and kindness Keith could never hope of achieving.

 _Yeah_ , Keith decided, a wave of acceptance flooding through him. _He’s worth it._ _At least I can save him._

He grabbed Lance’s face, meeting his eyes. “Come find me,” he said calmly, and Lance’s eyes widened. “No-”

He struck Lance on the side of his head with his bayard; the boy slumped into unconsciousness. Quickly Keith dropped his bayard, helmet, tracking device and Marmoran blade into the pod, slamming the hatch shut and starting the launch sequence. The pod fired off into space, and a bittersweet feeling set in Keith’s stomach as he turned to face his attackers. They lunged.

_I should have known better. I should have known it was too easy._

Keith thrust his blade firmly into the abdomen of one of the soldiers. Crouching slightly, he withdrew his sword as he spun around, catching another soldier in the side as the Galran's blade scythed over the Red Paladin's head.  
  
_At least they’ll be able to find him._  
  
The next slice aimed for Keith caught him, shearing through the flesh on his thigh, sword hitting bone. Keith screamed. His knees buckled as he felt the butt of a rifle collide into his back, his face slamming against the cold floor of the enemy ship.

 _Fuck._  
  
He swallowed the blood filling his mouth with a grimace. A heavy boot stomped into his back, followed by a jab with an electrified spear. Keith's world went white as he seized, stabbing pain tearing every part of his body.  
  
When it was over, he couldn't move, couldn't think; his mind a hazy cloud, still reeling over the force of the pain. He was granted a second before the handle of the spear struck his head, leaving everything in darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would say I'm sorry for ending it this way...but I'm not. ;) 
> 
> I do not know when I will be able to finish the next chapter, so for now know this: it will feature the return of Acxa (she's gotta save her baby). See y'all next chapter. 
> 
> P.S.-I have a [Tumblr](https://acxa-is-keiths-mom.tumblr.com/)


	5. Inception

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith is faced with the aftermath of his capture. The Team he left behind considers what to do next, while Acxa comes to collect him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings present for this chapter: ooooh boy. I have to number these.  
> 1.) self-doubt/survivors guilt for Lance.  
> 2.) In the second half of the second scene, a psychological torture episode occurs. One of the Druids is mentioned by the name Yirea. Before she enters the phrase "three sharp knocks" will occur and the torture starts shortly after that and will continue to the end of the scene; so that's where it is if you wish to skip it.  
> 3.) Brief 'implied/aftermath of torture' for the fourth scene, beginning immediately after Acxa enters the cell.

Lance sat alone in the observation deck, staring out the barrier into space. His eyes were glazed over and distant, focusing on a point beyond the stars. He was uncharacteristically silent. The questions burning through his mind had become so loud they were almost deafening, blocking out any words he could say.

He had been like this since the others had found him drifting alone in empty space vargas after the Druid ship had disappeared. After a quick stint in the healing pod they’d gathered around him, varying degrees of hope on their faces, and tried to get an understanding of what went wrong. Lance had recounted the details numbly-the ship warping several times a dobash, both of them sustaining injuries, Keith knocking him out when he had tried to get out of the pod to fight by his side. He hadn't known about the belongings Keith had dropped inside the pod, and their presence was unsettling. He hadn’t just sent Lance out into space-he took the few seconds he had to put all the stuff he wouldn't want the Galra to have access to in with the Blue Paladin; which ultimately meant Keith had thought about it, and had come to the conclusion that _Lance_ was the one who should be spared.

_Why?_

That was the question that screamed the loudest in his head. Lance could think of a million different reasons why he should have been the one to get captured, why Keith getting away would have been so much more valuable to the team. Despite that, Keith had chosen to save him. Lance was struggling to understand _._ It was a thought process that stirred up a lot of emotions, self-doubt and confusion chief among them.

_It should have been me._

Tears came then. Lance let them fall, the light of the stars catching their path. Everything seemed so _wrong_ with the Red Paladin gone. The lack of his presence was almost tangible, a shadow that crept through Lance’s mind with a dull ache that centered in his chest. Lance chided himself for sitting alone and doing nothing while god-knows-what happened to Keith. The image of the last time Lance saw the Red Paladin returned unbidden; the way Keith’s violet eyes _burned_ , the absolute confidence in his voice when he’d said _come find me._ Lance wasn't sure how he could even begin to do so, but Keith had been convinced enough for the both of them-as if it was never a doubt in his mind that Lance would find him.

The Blue Paladin swallowed hard, wiping his face with the back of his hand as he pushed himself to his feet. He may not believe in himself, but he would be damned if he let Keith down. He turned on his heel, searching for some way he could help.

* * *

 

Keith awoke standing up, shackles around his wrists connected to a hook in the ceiling. Bright purple light consumed his vision; the Red Paladin winced against the force of it. He did a mental check of his injuries; his nerves felt frayed, and his muscles ached. The wounds of his thigh and back were completely numb-the lack of sensation in a body blaring with pain was disconcerting-and his four of his ribs felt bruised. The inside of his cheek had been cut against his teeth on his ride down to the floor, and his mouth tasted of sour copper. His head felt fuzzy and a pit of fear was set firmly in his stomach; he most definitely had a concussion. For a moment he struggled to keep his breathing even as he registered the amount of pain he was in.

“He is awake,” a strange feminine voice spoke.

“A durable morsel, it seems,” a second voice continued.

Keith startled at the sound of the voices, swiveling his head to locate the source. He gasped at the sharp throb of pain that the action caused, his vision swimming. A thread of saliva slipped out of his mouth and onto the floor.

A clawed hand grabbed his face roughly, holding his head still as Keith’s vision slowly cleared. After a few moments, he could make out the five glowing yellow slits of a Druid mask, its curved beak hanging mere inches over his forehead.

“The damage extends to his mental processes,” the Druid said over her shoulder. “This is not optimal, but it is workable.”

The second Druid materialized from the corner of Keith’s vision, coming closer. “It is unlikely he will be able to retain memory in this state. I suggest any restoration waits until after we are finished.”

“Agreed,” came the reply.

Keith dully registered the words, a snarl curling his lips. The first Druid shifted her palms above the sides of the dome of Keith’s skull. He could see light curl at the edges of his vision. His heart was racing; he struggled not to choke on the panic that threatened to overwhelm him. For a few moments, he gritted his teeth, waiting for something else to happen. Time tick, tick, ticked on…

Nothing else happened. Keith grinned. He wanted to verbally taunt the Druid, but his lips were too heavy, his mind too foggy. It didn’t seem to matter-the Druid got his message, making a throaty growl before yanking her hands back in frustration.

“What is _taking_ so long?” The second Druid hissed.

“Get Yirea. _Now,_ ” she snapped back. The second Druid melted into the shadows, the click of the door barely audible.

The first Druid paced around Keith, silently seething. It was quiet for a long moment; the only sound Keith could make out was the low murmur of the ship’s engine. That detail seemed important to him somehow, but he couldn’t figure out why.

“You seem to have advanced defensive telepathic capabilities,” the Druid said in a dry clinical tone. She fixed him with a stare-or at least her mask was pointed in Keith’s direction; it was hard to tell when you couldn’t see their face-and she stilled in her pacing. “It has to be natural...the damage from your head injury is substantially affecting your mental processes.” She continued almost offhandedly, as if she didn’t really expect an answer from him. “Do you know the cause? Which species you draw from?”

Keith licked his lips. They were dry and tasted like blood. _Faces,_ he thought sluggishly as he gazed at the black void beneath the mask. _Do you even have a face?_

“Show me your face,” he said. His words had a slight slur to them. “You _coward_.” He felt a tug of satisfaction upon getting the words out.

The Druid paused for a moment before sighing. “It expected that you would not cooperate. The Red Paladin of Voltron is said to be the fiercest, the most impulsive. What evidence we have supports this. You are here, after all. All alone. We had hoped to capture more of you with this lure.” The Druid resumed her pacing, tone turing sinister. “The Blue one. His escape is your doing. What a _fascinating_ detail, that you would place his life above your own.” The Druid chuckled cruelly. “You Paladins are all so predictable, with your _emotions_ and your _sentiment_. Even you. Your impulses only fit within a small box of reasoning. You lack the vision to extend your choices elsewhere.”

“Is this supposed to scare me,” Keith gritted out, “‘Cause it is not fuckin’ working.”

“Oh no, that part comes later. It is the only part that matters, the only task that our all-powerful Emperor values from us; it is what we must perfect to be considered worthy. I almost admire you in your ignorance, child. It allows you your optimism. You think you can win, that you have a chance at stopping this. But this is not a single Empire, a singular banner; this is something much greater. The laws of the Universe dictate death and suffering. They are present in all forms of life. We are called to be the enforcers of this, but it does not ruin us. It is an honor to be called to serve a force so ingrained in the fabric of time. You understand that, do you not? You have to. It is so obvious. If it is not us, it will be another. There will always be another enemy. Perhaps it will arise out of the delusional utopia you seek to create; it matters not in the end. It will find a way to start again. It always does.” The Druid seemed to regard Keith, frustration saturating her tone. “ _Why_ do you fight? Is it purely a misguided suicidal impulse? Do you also succumb to false ideology? I could fix you, if only I had the order. If only I could get inside your head. Turn you into a proper weapon. Or have the Alteans already done so themselves?”

Three sharp knocks sounded. The Druid stopped, shifting her arms behind her back. “I am confident Yirea will find success, child. Resisting will only prolong the pain.”

“Fuck you,” came the reply.

Without another word, the Druid slipped out of the room. Another Druid entered, grabbing the Red Paladin by the head, analyzing him at eye-level.

“Fuck you too,” Keith slurred.

The Druid struck him hard against the cheek. His head throbbed in agony, and a strangled yell bubbled in his chest. His sense of balance shifted violently; were it not for the chains bolting him to the ceiling he would have collapsed. Yiera grabbed him on either side of his skull, forcing energy into his brain. Bright light flickered throughout his vision. Searing pain laced through every fiber of his body, boring through his skull. He screamed, the sound scything through the air at an excruciating volume. The pain transcended Keith’s perception of time-he had no idea how long he had been held in that hellish limbo, barely able to draw breath from the scorching in his lungs, his heart going _too fast too fast fuck it_ **_burns_ ** -but he did know when it ended. There was the sensation of something breaking, cracks jagged like broken glass, before he was able to come to.

He could not open his eyes.

“I can’t believe we made it in time,” Shiro’s voice sounded. A flood of relief pushed through Keith. He’d missed him so much, having lost him twice, and hearing his voice brought Keith a sense of peace.

“That rescue mission sure was a nightmare, but we got through it. Timed out perfectly. Any longer out of the healing pod and Keith wouldn’t have made it,” Pidge said. Mild shock flitted through Keith’s mind. That was quick...but if anyone could pull it off it would be Pidge, the kid was honestly some sort of genius. Besides, she cared about him; and Pidge worked her ass off for those she cared about. And Keith had barely made it? _Huh._ Must be why he couldn’t open his eyes.

 _Of course_ , an unfamiliar voice whispered and Keith felt uneasy, wondering _strange, what, who are you-_

“Not the way I thought piggybacking Keith would go,” Hunk said. Multiple laughs sounded. A warm feeling passed throughout Keith, chasing off any unsettling thoughts. _Hunk was great, always kind, so willing to give hugs. The whole team was there. They had come for him_.

“Lance?” Allura called out. “What’s the matter?”

There was quiet for a few moments, long enough for Keith to pick up the sound of sniffing. _Was Lance crying_?

“Is everything okay? What’s going on?” Shiro asked gently.

“Shiro,” Lance whispered, his voice small and broken. “I’m _scared_.”

“Why are you scared?”

Lance sobbed. The sound tore at Keith’s heart. “I can’t...I can’t go back to waiting. I’ve gotten the first good sleep I’ve had since we found out...I can’t go back to-”

“Hey there, slow down okay? The first good sleep since what? Can’t go back to what?”

“I’m afraid, Shiro, I’m so damn scared. Aren’t you scared too? How could you not be?”

There was quiet for a moment. “What do you mean?” Shiro pressed.

“ _Keith_ ,” Lance whispered, and the blood turned to ice in Keith’s veins. “He’s _Galra_. He’s out of control. Bloodthirsty. I can’t go back to wondering if tonight will be the night he hurts me.”

_Lance, no, I would never-_

A few ticks passed before Shiro replied. “...I _know_ , Lance-you think I don’t know what those things are capable of? Voltron is more important than any of us. You have to try.”

“Why should we have to?” Pidge demanded, her tone gone cold and firm. “Lance isn’t the only one who’s afraid. I think we all are. Can’t the Paladins be replaced?”

“Of course,” Allura answered easily. “But it isn’t something to take lightly.”

_What? They couldn’t-_

“Let’s take a vote then. All those in favor, raise your hand,” Coran said.

There was a pause.

“That’s...everyone?” The Altean sighed heavily. “How did we not address this sooner?”

 _Are you listening?_ The strange voice asked. _Do you see how repulsive you are to them? They can’t wait to get rid of you._

“I wanted to like him, I really did,” Hunk murmured, “But there’s just nothing good about him.”

_He’s such a good person. If only you were worthy of any shred of love._

“Thank you for speaking up, Lance. I had tremendous difficulty being around one of the things that killed my people. You can never trust a Galra,” Allura said matter-of-factly.

“When I met him, I wanted to help him,” Shiro’s voice quavered. “God, he’s like an emotional leech. I wanted to see the good in him, but he’s been nothing but a disappointment and a waste of time.”

_Can you imagine how much he’s holding back, after the Arena? You made him worse. You terrify him._

_Shut the fuck up_ , Keith lashed out. _This isn’t happening, this isn’t real-_

 _LISTEN,_ the strange voice snarled.

“It’s not your fault. He tricked all of us. He knew what he was-maybe not Galra, but a violent freak. He could have kept away. He chose not to.”

 _I tried to hide,_ Keith insisted, _you wanted me there-_

“Doesn't he understand how hard this is for us? We never deserved this,” Lance said angrily.

“There’s no reason for this to be a complete waste,” Allura murmured. “Let us contact the Empire and see what they would be willing to barter for him.”

_Do you see now, child? Do you see what you’ve done to them? They would only do better without you._

_They couldn’t do this...they wouldn't-_

_They why are you here with us? All alone? Abandoned once again. No one could ever love you._

_Shut up,_ Keith insisted weakly.

 _How can you deny what you know is the truth? Think about how much_ better _they will be without you; the impulsive, reckless, suicidal freak. You have not fooled anyone._

 _It's not true,_ Keith pushed out. His resolve crumbled as he thought it. Denial only lasted so long.

_I can take the pain away, child. I can give you purpose._

_I won't turn against them. I can’t._

_No, of course not,_ the voice added lightly. _But there are other tasks available for you. I can give you a place where you can let go. No more worrying over whether or not you can be civil enough; it is impossible for you. There is no shame in accepting this. It is a relief. No more pretending. Let me help you._

_…...no._

_No?_ The Druid made a noise of frustration. _It is irritating that you think you think you have a choice in this regard, brat. You are not a Paladin, you are not even a person. You are a weapon to be used. Your submission is a certainty._

 _I’d rather die first_ , Keith replied coldly.

_Oh, you ignorant fool. Death is not allowed for you._

The searing sensation started again, splitting Keith’s mind, burning until there was nothing but silence.

* * *

 

After the Empire had started its ultimately successful attack on Altea, Allura had quickly learned the price the survivors were required to carry. As time passed on, her people grappled with despair. With each new report of Altean settlements being destroyed across the universe, their collective soul withered. When it was closer to the end she could easily recognize the frantic look in their eyes, far too desperate from having lost far too much. _Csyriok_ , their healers had called it. _War sickness_.

It was true she demanded much of her Paladins, but she did so out of necessity. The cold truth was that the Empire would show them no mercy. If given the chance it would take everything from them, just as it had her people. She couldn’t bear to fail her charges once again. She would push them as hard as she had to.

Despite her reputation as harsh, she was not incapable of understanding the limits of her Paladins. As she approached Shiro, his form hunched over the desk of the Briefing Room, she could tell that he was nearing his. Wisps of panic and cold fear bled from his mind. There was no doubt that he blamed himself, despite any actual need for guilt. It was clear that he and Keith were close, having known each other before their new calling as warriors of Voltron. Allura recalled how quickly the Paladins had come to action during her capture despite what it had costed them. The unknown distance of the Red Paladin had to contribute substantially to Shiro’s distress.

Allura knocked softly on the wall to announce her presence, refusing to visibly react to the way he flinched; the last thing the Black Paladin needed was to feel weaker. “Any progress?” She asked.

Shiro shook his head, worrying at his bottom lip with his teeth. A spike of savage frustration protruded from his mind.

Biting back her sigh, Allura walked over to Shiro, carefully placing her hand over his flesh one. “Pidge and I have finished looking through the information gathered from the vessel. The maps given to us by the Marmorian spy are confirmed to be accurate. In addition, it seems the Galran Empire have been facing another threat besides ourselves. They call themselves the Scavs.”

“Scavs? As in Scavengers?”

“Presumably. Their resistance is...surprising. Their reputation leaves something to be desired, but they seem to be making solid gains against the Galra.” Allura paused. “There is something else you should know. According to the records, they are based in the Outer Reaches. One planet is of particular importance, listed as TI-897.”

Shiro’s eyes widened as he made the connection-the Holts were on that planet. Allura continued. “It might be a good option to consider. We have the same enemy, and at least two allies on the base.”

“I absolutely agree. We should make the jump as soon as possible,” The Black Paladin urged. Allura’s eyebrows raised-she had not expected such a decisive reaction. “Please, Princess,” Shiro insisted, desperation thick in his voice. “We have to act quickly. The things I went through in captivity...I wasn’t even anyone important. What they’ll do to Keith…”

Allura’s eyes hardened. Shiro was right, and she knew it.

“Very well then. I’ll set a course for the planet. You go inform the others.”

* * *

 

The heels of Acxa’s boots clicked sharply against the stone floor, the sound echoing off the curved walls of the long hallway. She pushed herself forward with an intense determination, fire burning in her stomach after so long spent inactive.

At the current moment, it had been 11 hours 46 minutes since news of the Red Paladin’s capture had been announced; 6 hours 17 minutes since the Druids were reported to have been successful in their interrogation; 4 hours 56 minutes since the Druid vessel had docked aboard the Zhijhan compound; and it had been 2 hours 37 minutes since her son had been unloaded into the base. Whether he had been tortured was a certainty; its severity was the question.

He was far from the only one. Jagged fragments of screams seeped out through the cell doors as Acxa passed them. She had eyes for only one number, cell 46-50-9, which was located in the center of the compound. As she strode closer to her destination a single scream cut through the others, causing a pit of ice to form in her gut. She would recognize Keith’s cry anywhere.

She moved faster. It was only through sheer force of will that she adhered to protocol, knocking promptly instead of busting the door down.

There was a pause before the door opened. A Galran soldier poked his head out, keeping the rest of the room obscured. He eyed her uniform warily.

“State your business,” he said in Galran, a slight quaver in his voice.

“I am here to collect the prisoner, under the order of Prince Lotor,” she replied smoothly.

“We have received no such order-”

“You just did. You are dismissed.” At his lack of action, Acxa raised an eyebrow, her tone sharp. “Would you rather receive a court martial for your insubordination?”

That seemed to snap the soldier back into submission. With a salute and a quick “Vrepit Sa” he entered the hallway. Acxa pushed into the cell.

Keith was bound to a chair, restrained securely by his arms and legs. His face was splattered with blood, his forehead and chin showing fresh cuts. The flight suit he wore was ragged and torn, torso shiny from bleeding. He was limp; the only sign of movement was the shallow push of his chest. An officer-specifically a Barek, whose role was described as a physical torturer-stood over her son, holding a knife covered in blood. Acxa couldn’t stop herself, nor did she have any desire to. White hot rage pulsed throughout her body as she grabbed the torturer by his shoulders, slamming him into the wall with enough force to rattle his jaw.

“ _Who gave the order_?” Acxa snarled. A dark satisfaction curled in her gut when she saw fear flash in his eyes. When it came to rank within the Empire, the role of the Barek held little sway; they were unable to even choose their own targets, instead depending on the approval of a higher rank to pursue their craft. The Druids were considered to be the best when it came to such things, with much cleaner methods.

The Barek bared his teeth, spitting out the answer. “Captain Krish’zar.”

Acxa held his gaze for several moments before relaxing her grip. As much as she wanted his blood, her primary goal was more important than the satisfaction his death would bring. The Barek was ultimately a pawn. This Captain, however...she would have to see to him later. Beyond her own motive-an attempt to spare Keith from any unnecessary pain-there was the advantage of Lotor’s, who had insisted on a suspension of any additional interrogation before he had a chance to visit the Red Paladin himself. The result of which was that Acxa could act swiftly without being suspected.

Once they were alone, Acxa turned towards Keith, mindful of the camera located in the upper corner of the cell. When she made eye contact with him she noticed how his eyes had glazed over, the blank face marked with fear loudly signaled recent contact with the Druids. Acxa swallowed past the catch in her throat. It was worse than she had wanted to believe. She attempted to rouse him by shaking his shoulder once.

He refused to meet her gaze any further.

 _We don’t have time for this. Ezor must be ready by now._ Silently cursing the Druids as savagely as she could, Acxa reached for the case on her belt, pulling out the syringe and injecting Keith in the neck in a swift motion. His eyes flared for a brief moment before the sedative kicked in, his body sagging against the restraints of the chair. Cutting his restraints, she swung him over her shoulder, leaving the cell without another word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this one was a little heavy-I originally meant for this to be followed with them going to TI-897 and the immediate negotiations that followed. Combined with this, however, it loses coherency due to the number of scene changes and its length. I promise that the next chapter will have the Holt family reunion (+ Shiro), and will cover the beginnings of Voltron entering the Scav Alliance, a rebel group which houses the remnants of the Blade of Marmora in addition to a mysterious faction known as the Shei'Thuk, comprised of former Druids.
> 
> Thanks for reading! See you next time. :)


End file.
